Lessons from the W...

W Singapore in Sentosa Island

As I sit here on my balcony at the W Singapore sipping on a cup of fresh brewed coffee, I am reminded of the importance of getting away; of recharging the batteries and spending time with an amazing person, reflecting on the gift of life, and focusing on what I enjoy.  I remember when there was a time in my life when I didn't really do I much for fun.  I saved and penny pinched every opportunity I had.  I viewed free time and holidays as a waste of time because they took me away from being productive and what we in "the biz" like to call "dollar productive behaviors."  I viewed anything that wasn't giving me tangible results as a waste of time.  Weekends away? Forget about it.  It took me away from earning an income and "getting ahead." What about spending money on things and experiences that would bring me happiness? No way.  Money is meant to be saved and accumulated.  Days off to relax? Never. A day doing nothing is a day worth nothing.  These were just some of my beliefs. I know! I was pretty screwed up. And to be honest this is yet a battle in which I have completely won.  I still struggle with down time. I still have a hard time splurging on the fine things that life has to offer.  I still ask myself if I really deserve the level of happiness and success I have been so fortunate to experience.

The reality is that these are the beliefs that I have not fully overcome but I take steps every day to face them.  I always grew up with the belief to be grateful and focus on the necessities and the luxuries were never a necessity.  Why stay at a $500 per night hotel when I could easily find one for $100 per night? Why take a day off when that is more time to be productive and get ahead in life? I made a conscious decision about 8 years ago that I would actively seek out opportunities for growth that scared me.  I would spend money when it made me uncomfortable.  I would take time off when I was feeling overwhelmed.  I would confront people that made me feel smaller than I actually was.

Now as I sit here in my $500+ per night hotel room, I encourage you to find something that makes you really uncomfortable that you have been resisting for a long time and take it on.  Ask the woman or man out that you've had your eye on for a while.  Treat yourself to an expensive dinner.  Take a weekend to get away and do absolutely nothing.

You'll end up thanking me for it and thanking yourself in the process.

Love,
Matt

How to get stuff done and end procrastination - Part 3

Define Your big “WHY” and Goals That Inspire You

Life without a sense of purpose is a life spent toiling in the insignificant and spinning your wheels without actually creating any movement.  Your purpose is your honing mechanism.  It is what allows you to chase and move towards your target no matter what gets in your way.  It is what guides every action and every choice you make.  Choices about what to eat, what to do, what projects to take on and what people to spend time with become easier when you are living a life of purpose.  When you can set powerful goals that inspire you, the results become magical.

I remember when I first decided to move to Singapore.  It was a big, audacious goal.  Nobody in my family had ever lived overseas and most people I know lived a life playing everything very safe.  Most people I know went to a safe school, lived in a safe and comfortable area, and took a safe job.  And here I was deciding to quit everything I knew and leave everyone that meant the world to me and take a job on the other side of the world in a country I was not familiar with, with a company I did not really know, a culture that was completely new to me and I did not even have a place to live.  As crazy as it seemed, that was my goal.  And it was completely in line with my purpose which is “the continual pursuit of personal mastery while creating an extraordinary impact on as many lives as possible.”  My goal was my target and my purpose was my honing mechanism.

I took off from the USA to Singapore about 3.5 years ago in the pursuit of my purpose and my goal. I had a goal to create a mega chiropractic office and transform the lives of thousands of people while experiencing an extraordinary life of adventure, travel, and relationships.  I then created more specific goals around accomplishing each of these things.  This was completely in line with my purpose as well.  The only way I could meet my purpose of transforming as many lives as possible would be by pursuing mastery in all the areas of my life: physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and financially.  Now the road has not always been easy.  I have had relationships that did not work out; days, weeks, or even months that did not go as planned; I have had really stressful periods of time in my life; and I have had things that really knocked me back on my butt.  And you know what?  If it was not for my purpose I would have given up on my goals a long time ago.  I would not be sitting here on a Sunday night writing this message to you.  I would not be waking up at 5:30 in the morning to prepare and plan for my day.  Do you think I love waking up at 5:30? Most days I hate it, but when something serves your purpose, the choices you make become easier and it reshapes every area of your life.  

Create a purpose that inspires you and goals that challenge you to fulfill your purpose.  If there is truly a life worth living, this is it.

Love,

Matt

Getting Stuff Done - Part 2...

Private villa in Phuket testing out our new toys

We ALL have the same limited resources of time and energy.  How is it that some people get an extraordinary amount of work accomplished whereas others seem to go years without a single check mark on their life goals' list?  The problem is most people never take action.  Now there are 2 big reasons people never take action: they have impotent goals or they become so overwhelmed with the magnitude of their goals that they never begin.  I want to address the second one with you today and we will address the first one next time.  It is amazing what you can accomplish when you implement the second step of "Getting Stuff Done"...

Chunk It All Down

The idea of writing a book is daunting and formidable when you think of having to write 150-200 pages.  The questions and insecurities start to pile in thinking there is no way I will have the shear amount of information to create that much content for people.  But when you chunk it down into really small bites, it makes the impossible seem almost easy.  This is something I have been talking about doing for the last 5 years yet never started it because it seemed like way too big of an undertaking.  I figured there would always be time later.  I realized if I write a minimum of 1 page in my book every morning that in 6 months I would have a 180 page book.  I could half that to 3 months if I just wrote 2 pages per day.  I also wanted to really work on my handstands and flexibility so I also spend at least 15-20 minutes every morning stretching and practicing my handstands.  That comes out to 1.5-2 hrs per week of stretching and handstand practice.  Getting stuff done is not as scary as you might have thought when you just create the discipline to chunk things down. 

The reality is the first 2 steps or not usually the challenge. The real challenge is creating a powerful enough REASON to wake up early and chunk things down.  We must have a big enough WHY or a big and inspiring enough GOAL to want to take the time, as little as it might be, to wake up early and chunk things down into easy, actionable steps which leads me to step number three which really is the first step that must be completed for any of this to work....

Love,

Matt

3 Steps to Getting Extraordinary Results

Champagne dinner in Singapore with great company

Most of us would love to get more stuff done.  We always complain that there is not enough time in the day or we don’t have enough resources to complete what we want to do.  We make excuses for our lives.  We are excuse making machines.  I find if many people took as much time working on solutions as they do on manufacturing excuses for why things can't get done or why they are not getting done, their life would transform in moments and they would begin to accomplish more in a week than they did in the previous few months.   Many of us would look back on the last 6 months or a year of our life and realize that we accomplished very little of our dreams other than work and maybe a little bit of play.  I have talked to so many people that want to get their physical fitness back on track, start writing a book or a blog, strengthen their relationships, grow their business, or just create more time for fun but now it is 6 months or a year or more later and they are not much further along than when they started.  I want to share with three simple steps than can jumpstart your productivity.

#1 Wake Up Early

It is amazing what can be accomplished before the sun rises.  At 5:30 am, the house is peaceful, the roads are quiet, and there is an opportunity for solitude and uninterrupted time.  Let’s say you wake up at whatever time you need to in order to give yourself an uninterrupted 1 hour of time in the morning.  Listen, I know this is not easy for most people, myself included!  I used to hate waking up early.  And who am I kidding?  There are still many mornings now that when my alarm goes off, the last thing I want to do is get out of bed.  I would love an extra 30 minutes or one hour of sleep.  It takes a lot of will power to wake up an hour earlier than the minimum time needed to shower, get dressed, and grab some breakfast.  It takes discipline but the results are extraordinary.  You could literally write a book and achieve extraordinary physical fitness and health in just 6 months.  Believe me because that is exactly what I am doing.  Which leads me to the next step...

See you next week for step 2!

Love,

Matt

Tap into Your Creativity

Singapore

Creativity can be tapped into no matter what your surroundings are.  Your creativity can be accessed in the basement of your home, a local coffee shop, and your local bookstore.  It can be tapped into in the comfort of familiar surroundings or in the exploration of the unknown.  I find that creativity is best accessed through a level of total and complete presence.  I remember when I first started writing.  It was a painful experience.  It took me forever to get started and even longer to create content and near impossible to tie everything together into a message that moved me to a point of where I felt proud about what I created.  I certainly did not enjoy the process and liked even less the eventual outcome.   Then I remember when everything seemed to come together.  It was when I focused less and less on looking good and creating the perfect message and became more present and vulnerable to what I really wanted people to take away from this conversation we were going to have together.  I thought about what was struggling with and what epiphanies have I experienced and how I could share them in a way that would really make a difference in other people’s lives.  Once I became present to the moment and vulnerable to a point where I was not afraid of what people would think about me, my fingers would move and the words would appear on the page as if they didn’t even belong to me.  It was as if the message was coming through me rather than from me. 

When we are present and vulnerable, we are able to tap into places of creativity that could never be accessed otherwise.  The solutions to problems we face in our everyday lives seem to magically appear, yet were always there waiting to be tapped into.  I encourage everyone to write on a regular basis about anything that is important to you.  It is an amazing exercise on discipline, presence, vulnerability, and creativity.  You don’t even need to let anyone read it but the focus should be on getting to a place where words just seem to flow onto the page.  It is an amazing exercise that will benefit you in ways you can’t possibly imagine without experiencing it firsthand.  The journey is long.  The path is bumpy.  Be prepared to be frustrated.  But also know the road is going to lead to a place that very few people ever really reach – the heart, soul, and essence of your life. 

Love,
Matt

BIG Announcement...

Phuket, Thailand

I have a big and long overdue announcement to make.  And before anyone jumps to any conclusions, I am not getting married, having a child, buying a house or quitting my job. LOL

I am pursuing a dream of mine that I have been holding back on for a long time.  It is a dream I have been justifying not pursuing because I was afraid of investing a lot time, energy, and money into and it not working out.  I still do not have the details worked out yet but I am not going to let that stop me this time.  I am going to be switching over my writing platform from my old, simple blog site to a professionally designed website that is going to be filled with added resources to help people live extraordinary lives.  When I started this blog over 5 years ago, it was done because at the time I was planning on opening my own practice.  Hence the name “Westheimer Chiropractic.”  Well, I decided to take a different route and just never updated my blog platform.  Those days are going to be behind me.  I have met with a web designer and am working on connecting with a logo designer.  I am in the process of creating new and exciting content for the site and can’t wait for everyone to be able to experience it firsthand. You may be asking yourself why I might be telling you all of this.  The answer is very simple.  One is that I want you to be excited about what is in store for you as we move forward with this project.  The second reason is by me PUBLICLY announcing it, I can’t back out now.  Honestly, I have bold ideas for the site but very little actual content other than my 100+ blog posts.  But by announcing it, it creates an accountability to make sure my level of engagement stays high and motivated.

We all procrastinate at times.  We all hold back on our dreams at times.  We all avoid pursuing our dreams due to fear and uncertainty.  We all refuse to love for fear of loss.  We all let barriers stop us from following our heart and our passion and we settle for a life not nearly as meaningful as it could be.  Life requires bold moves if you want what other people don’t have.  It requires action in spite of the fear the lies in front of us.  It requires putting our ego, our fears, and our insecurities on the line and stepping over them en route to a life that is worth living; a life full of love, connection, abundance, adventure, and deep meaning and fulfillment. 

Find your path or create it. Either way, go out there and make big things happen.

Love,

Matt

Are your standards destroying your life?

Sunset at Uluwatu, Bali

Your life will be in direct proportion to the standards you set for yourself.  If you set low standards, you get little to no rewards. You set high standards, you manifest incredible rewards.  If it is as simple as that, why would anyone set low standards for themselves? The answer is easy. They have associated more pain and fear around the risk of what higher standards would mean to them than the pain they currently have living a mediocre life. Your life will only change when you create more pain with your current circumstances than you do with the risk of changing. Changing has to be a must. You have to get to the point where it has become impossible for you to live your live any other way than with ridiculously high standards. 

In our office, I talk to people all the time who are unhappy about their health.  They are overweight, unhappy, and tired all of the time.  When I give them simple solutions they can do for 10-15 minutes ever day to add much more energy and vitality to their life and really increase their health, the most common answer I get is, “I don’t have time.” I say, “You don’t have 15 minutes per day to change your life?” Now, what is the real issue here? It has NOTHING to do with time. We always find time for the things that are most important to us.  Do you ever not have time to get dressed, take a shower, brush your teeth, or eat on a daily basis? Absolutely not! We will do whatever it takes to get our teeth brushed, shower, get dressed, and eat. We will wake up earlier or go to bed later. We will cut out things like television or Facebook. We will do whatever it takes. The key here is value and making things a “must.”  You don’t leave the house naked no matter how little time you have because you have made it a must to leave the house dressed.  You associate more pain with walking around naked than waking up earlier to get ready. 

What have you not made a “must” in your life that you need to? Now is the time to stop making excuses and be honest with yourself.  Is your life where you want it to be? Are you as fit, as sexy, as intelligent, as spiritually connected, as socially connected, and as successful as you would like to be? If not, where are you sitting on the comforts of the status quo and where do you need to turn some more “shoulds” into “musts?”

Love,

Matt

Do you have courage?

Yoga at The Farm in the Philippines

I find it very interesting that when you commit your life to growing, opportunities for growth occur on a daily basis whether you are looking for it or not.  Today was no exception. 

It all started last weekend when I went back to a yoga class I have not been to for a while.  It has always been one of my favorite studios but I just lost touch for a while.  I decided to go back last Sunday and it turned out to be a beautiful practice.  At the end of the class, it was announced the following week we would be focusing on arm balances – my specialty.  Ask me to touch my toes, and you’ll see a struggle as if my life depended on it, but ask me to hold handstands and other arm balancing exercises and that is where I shine.  I was looking forward to it all week.  As I arrived at class today ready to showcase my talents, my expectations were not even close to being met.  Not only did we not do arm balances, but the focus was switched to my 2 worst exercises: forward bends and hip openers.  I found myself annoyed and frustrated.  I found myself questioning why I even attended the class.  I found myself judging the class as a waste of time because it was not what I was expecting.  Then the theme of the class was shared and I quickly realized it was EXACTLY what I needed.

The theme of the class was courage.  Not the loud roaring courage but the silent courage that comes from a place of self-love and self-respect that says I am going to stay in a space that may not feel good or feel comfortable because it is exactly where I need to be.  It is a space that allows for love to flow even in trying or challenging times and says that tomorrow is a new day.  It is a courage that only happens when you soften your heart and your spirit and allow life to flow. 

As I struggled to touch my toes all class and found my mind racing, I realized the things we struggle with must be faced in order for us to grow.  We will only grow so much if we only focus on our strengths.  In order to really transform, we must face the places that scare us, that embarrass us, and that challenge us.  We must face the places that make us feel unsettled, insecure, and inferior.  Only then can we demonstrate true courage and only then can we truly experience life in all its beauty and magnitude.

Love,

Matt

Surrender Yourself to Success

Indian Ocean in Bali

When you surrender to what is

and so become fully present,

the past ceases to have any power.

The realm of Being, which had been obscured by

the mind, then opens up.

Suddenly, a great stillness arises within you,

an unfathomable sense of peace.

And within that peace, there is great joy.

And within that joy, there is love.

And at the innermost core, there is the sacred,

the immeasurable, That which cannot be named.

-       Practicing the Power of Now

I came across this passage sitting on the beach in Bali of a 5 star resort experiencing the beautiful sun and sea of the Indian Ocean while drinking a freshly made lemongrass and ginger iced tea.  This was at the end of the trip so I was really getting over the discomfort of the idleness and embracing the presence of the beauty that surrounded me.  Reading the quote has a much different meaning in that atmosphere than in an atmosphere of long work hours, staff, a “to do” list, responsibilities, people counting on you, relationships, bills, and obligations and commitments.  It is easy to surrender to “what is” when the “what is” is exactly what you want.  It is much more challenging to surrender to the “what is” when the “what is” is the very thing that brings you discomfort in the first place.  What have you been resisting? What places challenge you and bring you to places you have been avoiding? What fears are controlling you that you have been putting off facing for a long time? Whatever fear you have owns you. Whatever you fight owns you.

I can totally relate to the idea that peace, joy, and love is only found in the present. Whenever I find myself out of peace, joy, and love, it is always because I am living in the past or the future.  I am creating a disempowering story of my past or I am living in fear of the future.  When I get myself back to the only thing that is real, the present moment, my past and future cease to have any power over me.  It takes constant conscious awareness on my part to do this. I always find myself drifting to the past and the future.  I must make constant reminders to get back to the present.  What used to take months then took weeks.  What used to take weeks then took hours.  What used to take hours then took minutes.  What used to take minutes then took seconds.  What used to take seconds then took a moment.  What used to take moments became so indistinguishable that my choices and my reactions became one and the same to where I am always acting in accordance to an individual that lives every moment in the present with peace, joy, and love.  Or at least this is what I am working towards.

What are you working towards?

Love,

Matt

The Bali Experience

Singing on the beach in Nusa Dua and "enjoying the moment"

I find that the two things I do best on a plane are reading and sleeping, and usually the former leads to the latter.  I figured before I fell asleep, I should pull out my iPad and reflect on a great weekend in Bali, “The Island of Gods.”

I have been to Bali four times and I always stay in a new area.  I love to explore and experience new things so when a friend of mine from high school who I have not seen in 15 years invited me to visit her on her Bali trip, I just couldn’t turn down the offer.  As much as I love and look forward to holidays, they prove to be a challenge for me in that I have a hard time shutting my brain off and recharging.  Usually there is some uneasiness the first day as I acclimate myself to doing nothing.  This trip was no different. This uneasiness used to last for the entire trip whereas now, it fades off rather quickly.  In the past, whenever I felt the uneasiness that inevitably surfaces when in an unfamiliar or uncomfortable situation, I would fight and resist it.  I would judge myself for feeling a certain way and I would try to resist it adamantly and fervently.  All this did was intensify the feelings of uneasiness and it would continue.  A powerful distinction I have realized is that which we resist, persists.  Anything that we resist in our life continues, especially emotions, and the very act of resisting is what adds fuel to the emotion.  It is perfectly logical to conclude that we should resist an emotion that we do not like in the hopes it will change, but in actuality, the only way to dissolve an emotion is to fully accept it presence in our life and NOT try to change it.  Emotions can’t exist in full presence and acceptance of things exactly as they are without feeling the need to change it.  As I practiced this, the uneasiness dissolved and I had a fantastic weekend of relaxing, eating, beach, yoga, and exercising.  I did very little of any measurable value like reading or writing or business (other than this of course which I am writing on the plane back to Singapore so it doesn’t count! LOL).  What I did do, however, was connect with an old friend and enjoy each moment.  I enjoyed the beach and sun.  I enjoyed great food and fantastic company.  I met and enjoyed the presence of other guests from all around the world.  I had deep conversations about life which reinforced my purpose which is being of outrageous service to others in helping them to transform their life and realize their full potential for being alive, happy, and fulfilled.  The value of these experiences are beyond measure.

When we welcome change and discomfort into our lives, we see it coming from a friendly place that provides us with the circumstances to evolve and grow.  When we see every experience as good because it creates the space to grow and learn, life becomes a fun adventure.  And fun adventures make life worth living.

Love,

Matt

Good luck finding balance in life...

Favorite climbing gym in Singapore... Lots of balance needed here!

One of the greatest challenges I face in life is that of balance.  It is this state of being that appears to be quite elusive for me.  When I feel like I am getting closer, it is not so much that my life is in perfect balance.  It is more as if my life is standing still.  When things become balanced, one of our major human needs is put in serious jeopardy – growth.  It is actually a very interesting paradox.  We spend our lives in pursuit to achieve balance, yet if we were to ever really achieve balance, we lose the major need of growth in our lives. Many times our focus is on the attainment of balance rather than the pursuit of greatness.  Which do you feel is a more worthy goal – achievement of comfort and balance or the pursuit of excellence in all areas of our life?  It is not too much of a challenge to be great at one thing, but how about making it your life purpose to be great at ALL things that matter – being a great mother, father, lover, friend, influencer, financial steward, philanthropist, and health and wellness enthusiast? 

I find life to be a lot like spinning plates.  Do you remember seeing the person at the circus or on television who starts with one plate on a stick and starts to spin it?  Then once he gets that one plate spinning, he adds another and another and another? This continues until he has a dozen or more plates all spinning and he bounces from one to another to maintain its spinning.  If he focuses on one too long, the others start to wobble and will fall if neglected for too long.  If he focuses on the big picture and the mission of keeping all the plates spinning, he bounces back and forth from plate to plate to maintain the momentum.  No plate spins at maximal speed, yet the goal is for all of the plates to spin smoothly and efficiently to create balance.  The reality is that some of the plates will struggle at times to maintain momentum. Some will wobble and "call out" for help.  Others will seem to spin a bit more effortlessly and require less attention. It is a constant juggling act. The one that gets the immediate attention is always going to spin the fastest whereas the others will be slightly slower until the attention is put on them. 

So it is with life.   I don’t believe we can ever achieve perfect balance in life. Not as long as you want to grow, lead, and inspire and create a massive impact on the lives of your family and community.   It is a major challenge for me to create incredible success in all areas of my life at the same time.  At times, I find myself putting more focus on my health and fitness, other times on my business, and others on my social circle.  I have not mastered the art of the spinning plates yet.  One plate at a time, step by step, continually looking to add another plate to the mix while keeping them all spinning, I will get there.  Hopefully I will have it mastered before all the plates coming crashing down.  But you know what? Even if the worst case scenario happens and I drop some of my plates, there will be another set to try with again.  The only way to get there is to throw the plates up and give it my best shot.  If you need me, you can find me in the plate aisle at the store.  

Love,

Matt

Real Life Superhero

Today is the day we celebrate our childhood hero.  Some children grow up idolizing fictitious characters like Superman, Batman, and Spiderman.  These characters were larger than life and represented the idea of power and influence and imagination. The problem is these fictitious superheroes had powers that were unattainable.  We were not going to fly, leap buildings in a single bound, shoot webs out of our hands, and most of us don’t come from families of billionaires! LOL

Brother, Dad, Me (Left to Right)

Many of us, however, were fortunate enough to have a real life superhero; a superhero that we got to spend time with everyday; a superhero that appeared larger than life; a superhero that was a real life role model; a superhero who showered us with unconditional love; a superhero who made us feel that we were the most important people on the planet; a superhero that made us believe anything was possible.  That superhero for me was my dad.

I even remember a story when I was a little kid when I was sitting in the passenger seat of my mom’s car and I asked my dad to race the car. I couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old and I believed the only way to tell how fast my dad could run was to measure it with the speed of a car.  He was a superhero to me because no matter what was going on in his life, my brother and I always were a top priority.  He always made time to coach all of my baseball teams and I can’t remember him ever missing one of my high school baseball games, even if that meant skipping dinner after a 12-hour workday.  He never let me go without the things I needed but also taught me how to appreciate everything I have in life.  Still to this day, he continues to amaze me with his physical feats such as playing baseball with guys 1/3 his age! It literally defies the natural law of what the human body should be able to do, yet my dad is doing it!

There are very few things that are as special as the love between a father and son.  As I get older, I appreciate that love more and more.  At this very moment, the thought of what my dad has done for me and the love he has demonstrated throughout my life brings tears to my eyes.  For all these reasons and many more, my dad is my superhero.

Love,

Matt

Love them anyways...

Lunch on a beautiful lake in Thailand on our way back from my best friend Eric's wedding

People are going to be a pain in the ass – love them anyways. People are going to try and push you away – love them anyways.  People are going to try and test you to see how much you care – love them anyways.  People are going to complain and lash out – love them anyways.  People are going to be rude – love them anyways.  People are going to judge you – love them anyways.  People are going to give you reasons to retreat, run, and disappear – love them anyways.

When I say “Love them anyways,” I am NOT referring to being a doormat and letting people walk all over you. I am actually referring to the EXACT opposite.  When we act with love, we are actually acting rationally and in line with our highest values.  It is a true sign of confidence, high self-esteem, and commitment to ourselves and others.  Acting with love says “You have no power over me. I am in control of my state and my confidence in who I am as a person is unshakable.” When we are reactionary, we give our control over our life and emotions to the other party.  Most often when people act out in any of the scenarios I mentioned above, it has very little to do with you and more to do with the other party’s personal stuff.  Many times when people lash out, complain, criticize, and sabotage it is a cry for help.  It is a sign of insecurity and/or fear. People complain, lash out, criticize, and sabotage when they are afraid and their needs are not being met but are unable to articulate them in a constructive manner.  At this point to act in a “Love them anyways” manner, you have two choices – to stay and dig deep to find out exactly what needs are not being met that are causing them to act in the manner they are acting or to make a conscious decision to separate yourself from the person or the situation because the relationship is detrimental to be in any longer.   From my experience, many times we resort to the second option out of fear or insecurity where it would be much more powerful to choose the first option. 

It is really easy to react emotionally when people are “attacking” you with complaints and judgments, but it takes a really strong person with great personal power to look at the person and their actions as a call for help and with love, sincerity and authenticity search for a way to use this situation to create a deeper bond and connection with the individual.  I have had patients in the office complain about everything from how long they have to wait to the results are not good enough or fast enough.  It would be very easy to take it personally and react in a not so constructive manner (which I admit I have done before). What they are really doing is making a call for help. They are saying “Please help me.” When I look at that as a call for help or a call for more of my presence, I acknowledge it and give it to them.  I find that this disarms them immediately and provides a space for a true connection to be made.  In my personal relationships I have been criticized or complained to about how I was behaving or acting  - as hard as that is to believe! LOL… Kidding. If I let my insecurity take over, I react emotionally and attack back and justify myself.  When I act with love, I acknowledge that they are just looking for more of my presence, my love, and my connection and I give it to them.  Rather than run due to fear, I dig in deeper and it strengthens our bond and commitment that would not have been possible any other way.

Life is full of opportunities to create magic moments with people.  People are crying and desperate for more love and more connection. They will complain, criticize, pull away, and lash out – love them anyways.

Love,

Matt

The Greatest Gift

We can only get so far in life if we do it alone.  We can accomplish so much more, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, when we share our lives with people we deeply care about.  At the beginning of the year, three of my best friends and myself created a mastermind or a think tank for us to constantly work on personal development and hold each other accountable in all areas of life for creating and living with ridiculously high standards.  It was created with the intention for it to be an open forum as well as a safe place for each of us to challenge and share with each other as well as put our egos aside and display a level of vulnerability that allows each of us to tap into the very core of our being and grow. It has evolved over the months as we dive deeper into who we are as individuals and tap into a place that is only possible from sharing candidly with other people.  We have tackled life goals, relationships, fears, and ego as well as victories and dreams.  We have shared tears and frustration, anger and resentment as well as joy and gratitude, passion and enthusiasm. The core people in my life remind me what true friendships and relationships are all about.  It’s about love and connection. It’s about growth. It’s about tapping into emotions that are only possible through sharing with other people from a place of unconditional love and acceptance. 

Many times we choose to share our life with people on a very superficial level. We only share a piece of ourselves for fear of rejection or not being good enough.  We create a life of acquaintances that we work hard to “look good” in front of. We create friendships that are fun but never truly challenge us from a place that can only come from complete vulnerability. We end up creating a life that is pleasant rather than a life that is exciting and truly fulfilling. 

I am beyond grateful for the people in the “inner circle” of my life.  I am grateful for the opportunity to share with them without judgment and vice versa.  One of the most challenging things you will ever do in your life is tap into the very core of who you are and put it on display for the people who are most important to you to see.  It requires a tremendous level of courage yet provides for the space where true love and connection are found.

Love,

Matt

Are you committed or are you attached?

Health talk at my office

The answer to this question is LIFE CHANGING.  I lived a large portion of my life full of attachments. Everything about my life, my wellbeing, and my happiness was attached to things or people.  I was attached to outcomes and to results from other people.  My life was very dependent on the perception of others, how things would turn out, or even the fear of how things would turn out.  I remember when I was scared to do public speaking because I was attached to whether or not people would like me. I was afraid to be vulnerable and reveal my true self because I was attached to people’s opinions of me.  I was afraid to take risks and welcome challenges into my life because I was attached to a very specific outcome.  I would give with expectations of receiving something and that something was very specific in every situation and there was no wavering from that.  Would you like to know the key to being UNHAPPY? Create rules and attachments that are so strict and stringent that they allow for no flexibility or adaptation.  Attach your happiness to the opinions of others. See yourself as a failure if achieve anything other than perfection.  It is when I started to shift my life from attachments to commitments that my life really transformed.

When you commit to something, you are focused on the process and the outcome from an internal perspective, not an external perspective.  What I mean is this – success and happiness is an inside job.  When I do a presentation or a lecture, rather than attaching myself to what the group will think about me, I commit myself to delivering the most powerful and empowering message I have ever delivered.  I have control over my commitment to give my all, to prepare, and to be fully present.  I have no control over how people are going to perceive me.  It is a useless emotion to attach myself to that.

Last week, we had our largest new patient health class to date.  We even had to go borrow chairs from other businesses in our area to accommodate everyone.  It was very exciting.  It is a class I am incredibly proud of and I KNOW the information is life changing.  In the past I would have been so concerned with whether or not the people would like me, like the information, and feel good about the talk.  Last week, rather then focus on the things I could not control, I decided to commit myself to giving everyone there everything I had.  I committed to focus on the delivery of the talk from the perspective of the answer to this one question, “What if everyone in the audience’s life was dependent on this one hour lecture and the information would literally change the present and future of the lives of themselves and the lives of their families?”  I had no other option than to commit myself to being fully present, connected, and passionate about every one of the 60 minutes I had with these people. 

What if we structured our life where we banished all attachments and committed ourselves instead to serving the highest versions of ourselves in every relationship, every business, every workout, and every single thing in our lives?  This may sound exhausting, but I promise, paradoxically, it adds a new dimension of energy, vigor, and excitement that so few people ever truly tap into.

What are you going to commit to today?

Love,
Matt

Is your life empowering...or not?

Waterfall in Chiang Mai, Thailand

Life is about the perspective we take in the following three situations: times of idleness where it appears as though nothing is happening, times of victory where it seems like everything is happening, and times of challenge where a wave crashes over us and it feels as though we are tumbling head over feet in a washing machine with no end in site.  The answer is the same for all three. We must create a perspective around gratitude and mobilization. We must be grateful for every situation that arises in our life because it all serves us in realizing our true potential.  

I grew up on the beach and I remember when I was a kid, I used to love to go body boarding on the big waves.  Some of my greatest memories were crashing and burning.  When I relaxed and did not try to fight the power of the wave, I could enjoy the excitement of the twisting and turning with a knowing that it would spit me out of the water in just a few moments.  When I fought it, I would instantly become scared and lose that sense of excitement.  On the opposite side of the coin, I could choose to find enjoyment in the process of riding a great wave while constantly evaluating what worked and what didn’t work so I could be even more successful next time.  

We always need to evaluate how we could’ve ridden that wave longer, faster, and even bring more people with us on the wave which will lead to more excitement, more fulfillment, and improve our ability to ride that wave even better. Some people are so good at this it appears they are riding a permanent wave of success, but I assure you they are not.  They are just so good around creating empowering perspectives while learning to right their crash and burns quickly and efficiently and extending their wave riding experience, it just appears that way.

When we manage our perspective on life’s experiences, we master our life.  When we learn how to create empowering meanings to EVERY situation, we master our life.  When we view life as a daring adventure that is meant to be lived fully and completely, we are able to find empowering meaning in the stillness of the water, rush of a monster wave, and even the crash and burn that will inevitably occur at times.  When we get to this point, we are able to experience the majesty of life in all of its forms and functions.  This is the key to life. 

Love,

Matt

Speak from the Heart

Inspiring the youth of Singapore

I had an opportunity to do something a couple of weeks ago that I have not done in a while.  It is something I am incredibly passionate about and fuels me up every time I get the chance to do it.  I had the honor and privilege to stand in front of 250+ students and share my heart with them.  I had the opportunity to share in a way that could potentially shape their future forever.  I had the opportunity to inspire and stimulate their minds to believe that they could create, be, do, and have anything in life that they wanted.  To them it may have just been a presentation that occupied one of their class periods, but to me, it was like having 250 pieces of clay with eyes to see, ears to hear, and a mind to create a vision.  To them they may have just been students, but to me, they were future leaders of families, communities, and companies. To them it may have been a talk about a job and a way to make money, but to me, they were future world-changers and world-leaders. 

How you view people will determine how you communicate with them.  How you view people will determine your ability to connect with them and for them to connect with you.  Believe in people and they will believe in themselves. Love people and they will begin to love themselves. Have a heart for people and watch your heart grow in the process. We begin to receive in proportion to that which we give to others.

Look for ways to contribute to people’s lives and watch your life change in the process. I guarantee it.

Love,

Matt