Alone in Thailand

One of my mentors once told me, “Do something everyday that scares you.” While I try to make that axiom an everyday part of my life, it really rang true for me this weekend.  I am going to start at the end and then we can backtrack from there.  I have spent 2 beautiful days in majestic Northern Thailand trekking up to ancient temples, being blessed by monks, meditating in temples from the 1400s, hiking to waterfalls, and feeding, interacting, and even hugging the amazing Asian elephant in a beautiful sanctuary whose mission is rescuing damaged and abused elephants.  I have explored the city of Chiang Mai, ate some delicious local food, woke up every morning to birds chirping and a delicious cup of coffee, and staying in a cozy boutique hotel with the friendliest staff I have ever met.  As I sit here now at breakfast finishing my coffee and starting on a home brewed ginger tea, I am preparing to spend my day taking a Thai cooking class with a local family on their organic farm.  I am sure by now you are asking yourself, “I though he was going to talk about fears and stuff that is scary.  All that stuff sounds amazing!” And you would be right.  All of this has been amazing, however, I almost never took this trip.  You see, I am on this trip by myself.  Alone.  Just myself, my computer, and my thoughts.  And it was not due to lack of effort.  I tried to find someone to travel with, but for one reason or another, it all came down to a choice – take this trip by myself or not at all. 

I struggled with the choice for a while. I have been on some amazing holidays to all different places around the world – from backpacking Europe to five star chalets on the ocean in Borneo to religious trips to Israel to hotels on a cliff in Bali.  However, I have always been on these holidays with someone; someone to share these experiences with, to talk with, to explore with, and to reflect with.  Now I was confronted with a choice that scared me.  I was not scared about the safety from traveling alone; at least not in the physical sense of the word.  I was more scared of all the time I was going to be spending by myself, in silence and personal reflection.  Would I really enjoy my own company? Would feelings or emotions come up that were uncomfortable and unsettling? Would I realize I don’t enjoy my own company as much as I would like to think I would?  There would be no theorizing about how much fun or how enjoyable my company is.  I was going to have to experience the reality of it first hand, and it was a little bit scary.  The first day was a bit rough.  I had a somewhat unsettling feeling throughout the day, but instead of resisting it, I just accepted it.  I accepted it as an agent of change and the feeling of doing something new.  Once, I accepted it the feeling eased a bit.  I meditated in 2 different temples and the thing that really hit home for me were all of the statues of Buddha.  I studied the statues in both of the temples and every statue of Buddha had the same facial expressions – pure joy, bliss, presence, and peace.  I could genuinely feel and see the sense of nirvana on each of the Buddha’s faces.  It was the type of joy and peace that could be experienced through pain or pleasure.  It was the joy that comes with living and appreciating life for all that it has to offer.  While not easy, it is a lesson I have tried to carry with me throughout this short getaway.  I have a feeling it is a lesson I am going to practicing for the rest of my life.

We all have feelings that scare us.  We all have experiences in life that scare us.  We all have things that push us back into our cocoon of the known and away from the freedom of the unknown.  New experiences whether it is relationships, traveling, or just sitting quietly in meditation and being aware of the thoughts in our head, it all can be quite scary.  Unfortunately, the only place we find growth; the only place we find freedom; the only place we truly find a life worth living is in doing things that scare us.  The only way to manifest the greatest versions of our self is to continuously grow and contribute.  This weekend was certainly a weekend of growth for me, and hopefully through this writing, I have been able to contribute to your life in some small way.

Love,

Matt

PS This was one of my favorite moments of the trip.  A beautiful, gentle elephant named Maebualoy who was rescued from the streets of Bangkok after years of working as a street beggar and finally getting hit by a car.  He was the only one sweet enough to feed directly in his mouth and I got the opportunity to bath him down at the river.

Have you found your purpose?

Do you ever find yourself struggling with the fact that you don't have life figured out yet? Do you ever question what your purpose is or what you want to do with the rest of your life? Do you ever find yourself questioning why you can't seem to find the right relationship, the right career, or you just keep finding yourself asking questions about life whose answers seem to be quite elusive?  If you answered yes to any of these, you are not alone.  If you've answered no to all of these, then get your head out from under the rock you've been living under.  Those people who are on this journey we call life are all about asking these questions that challenge us, frustrate us at times, yet provide us with invaluable insight to take our lives to new levels.  It is in the questions, not the answers that we find life's most valuable learning experiences.

I have been reading a very powerful book lately called The Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer. In the most recent chapter he challenged the readers that it is in the times of questioning our purpose and vision that we discover the most powerful answers.  Just like the thought of losing a relationship makes us love that person more or the thought or act of losing our health makes us value and appreciate our health more, the thought of losing or questioning our very purpose makes us want to define, refine, or re-invent our purpose even more.  We can use that very questioning to paralyze us or propel us to action.

I have been questioning my future more and more lately.  There are things I question about where I see myself in 5-10 years; whether or not I will be married, whether or not a family is in the cards for me, where I see myself settling down, and the list goes on and on.  I am learning to embrace rather than reject these questions.  I use these questions to bring more clarity rather than more confusion, and more peace in my life rather than more inner turmoil.  The keys to creating this are found in creating a level of faith in the future, fulfillment in the moment, and an undying determination and discipline to digger deeper into my heart, head, and soul to manifest a more profound level of self-actualization. I read to expand my knowledge. I meditate to connect with deeper levels of myself. I engage in profound conversations with intelligent individuals to confront and challenge my values and ideals. I work on my Lifebook to clarify exactly what I want in life. I write in order to clarify the ideas I have in my head.

The bad news is creating an extraordinary life takes an extraordinary effort. The good news is that the rewards that you receive from putting in an extraordinary effort are exponential. Begin to question your beliefs more. Begin to question your purpose more. Begin to question your values more. Because it is within the questions that the answers to living an extraordinary life are found.

Love,
Matt

13 Virtues for Life

As we “grow” through life, every moment is an opportunity to re-invent ourselves and re-commit ourselves to our ultimate calling.  As I sit in front of my computer on a quiet Sunday morning, I am reflecting on what a great week it was.  Why was it great? Because I chose it to be so.  It was packed week that consisted of 12-14 hour days, busy days in the office, physical, mental, and professional trainings, late nights and early mornings, reading, writing, and lots of preparation.  To many people that sounds miserable; for me, I call it my life.  In a world distraught with so much distraction, it is easy to stray off the path you have chosen for yourself.  It is easy to get caught up with the insignificant and the mundane.  It is easy to gravitate away from the things that matter most into a land of just “existing.”  It is up to each one of us to clearly define exactly what we want to stand for.  I love the variation of this quote made by Rosa Parks. “Stand for something or you will fall for anything.  Today’s mighty oak is yesterday’s nut that held its ground.” What do you want to create in your life? Do you want to stand for peace, harmony, and fulfillment? Do you want to stand for prosperity, contribution, and integrity? What do you want?

I recently discovered that Benjamin Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States, a noted polymath, author, printer, political theorist, politician, postmaster, scientist, musician, inventor, satirist, civic activist, statesman, and diplomat, and USA’s first millionaire, developed and lived his life by 13 specific virtues.  It governed and lead him in everything he did.  It was his roadmap to success.  I figured if it was good enough for Benjamin Franklin, it was good enough for me so I decided to write down the 13 virtues for which I would dedicate my life to following and pair each one with a motto. I would like to share them with you:

1) Integrity – “My word is my word is my word.”

2) Peace – “I express serenity and centeredness from my core in every situation.”

3) Authenticity – “I am who I say I am.”

4) Love – “I radiate love to all of humanity.”

5) Sincerity – “I speak with authenticity and compassion.”

6) Empathy – “I have the ability to feel what others feel.”

7) Charisma – “I am fully present and I connect with anyone, anywhere, anytime.”

8) Joy – “I live with a zest for life.”

9) Prosperity – “I attract abundance everywhere I go and in everything I do.”

10) Faith – “I believe in a high power that guides me in everything I do.”

11) Movement – “I move naturally, consistently, and constantly.”

12) Courage – “My life is dedicated to growth, learning, and being the best I can be.”

13) Excellence – “I look for ways to contribute as much value as possible to people’s lives.”

Living a fulfilled life takes work.  It takes energy.  It takes focus and determination.  It takes doing what so few people are willing to do.  Success also leaves clues.  Are you expanding your awareness and increasing your focus to pick up on those clues? Model and mirror your behaviors and actions from the people you admire but always remember to make it your own.  Spend time everyday working on yourself.  Be clear with exactly what you want to manifest and create in your life.  Don’t leave your life up to chance. Begin today creating the life you would love to live and never look back.

Love,

Matt

Let go. Connect more.

If someone were to ask, “Matt, if there was one thing that someone could do transform their life, what would that be?” Let me preface this with the fact that if you really want to live an extraordinary life, there are many things you need to do, however, there are certain things which give you a much bigger “bang for your buck.”  One of the greatest lessons I have learned is that of connection – connection with myself and connection with others.  We spend so much time “connecting” to computers, cell phones, iPads, and Wifi hotspots, we have essentially lost the ability to connect with ourselves and the people around us.  In the past, there was little technology so people were actually forced to talk to each other.  Imagine that! If they did not want to talk to anybody, their only choice was to seek within and have an internal dialogue with themselves.  How terrible that would be! Now, we trade meditation and observing our thoughts for Facebook and Youtube.  We trade connecting and learning from the people around us for Candy Crush and Angry Birds.  Time with friends is spent staring at a phone and family time is traded for computer games and e-mail.  Opportunities to connect with people have never been greater yet we have never been more distracted and disconnected.

From my perspective, this crisis of a lack of human connection is not going to get any better.  Our distractions become even more plentiful everyday and take us away from the things that really change people’s lives like communication and relationships.  Interestingly, as the distractions become more abundant and human connection becomes even more rare, your ability to connect and effectively communicate is even more influential and impactful than ever before.  Imagine the surprise on someone’s face when someone actually listened to them.  Imagine the joy that would be created in the lives of your children if you put down the phone and laptop and gave them your undivided attention.  Imagine the fulfillment that would occur in a relationship if you created the connection and intensity that nothing else in the world mattered except that moment when you two are together.  Imagine the feeling your customers would have if you actually listened with an open mind and a compassionate heart with absolutely no judgment.  Imagine if you actually sat in silence for 10-15 minutes per day and just observed your own thoughts, how much you would learn about yourself.  How many of you sit for 10-15 minutes per day in complete silence journaling or meditating in order to cultivate a better relationship with yourself?  How many of you do that with your spouse, your friends, and your children?  In a world where people are so disconnected from everyone around them including themselves, could you imagine the impact that giving someone 100% of yourself, of your attention, of your compassion, of your empathy, and of your love for even just a few minutes would have on their day?  You would be giving someone the rarest commodity there is nowadays – connection. 

In order to connect with people on the highest level, you must first begin by connecting with yourself.  Sit in meditation, read, journal, take a day just for yourself, and even take a holiday alone.  This will allow you to communicate with the most important person in your life – yourself.  Also, the greatest thing you can do to connect with other people is to become genuinely interested in them.  Listen to them.  Pay attention to their needs, wants, and desires.  Every moment of everyday is an opportunity to connect with yourself and the people around you.  Let us both commit to distracting ourselves less and listening to our inner dialogue more; less talking and more listening; less taking and more giving; less emotional barriers and more opening of our heart; and less judging and more unconditional love.  Not only will this change your life, but it will create a ripple effect that will touch more lives than you could possibly imagine.  The beautiful thing is you can start now.  Just close your laptop, put away your phone, and shut off your iPad, and begin connecting. 

Love,

Matt 

Overcoming Obstacles

A powerful key to personal transformation is to make your life vision more powerful than any circumstance you may be facing in your life.  Let me share a story with you.  Yesterday was a big day in the office.  Saturday mornings are the busiest time in the practice where for 4 hours straight we are packed with couples, kids, and many 3 generation families all coming in to get adjusted together.  The music is up and the energy is great.  That day the energy was especially great because we had one of our quarterly workshops in the office on “Moving Well.”  As the office began to fill up with more and more with people, I couldn’t help but notice one of my patients, a beautiful woman in her 70s, coming to attend the talk.  She is a sweet and gentle woman who has just started care with me a couple of weeks ago.  It was inspiring for me to see her there because when most people are winding down and becoming less mobile, less energetic, and focusing less on improving their lives, there sits this woman in her 70s dedicating her Saturday afternoon to learn how to bring more energy, movement, and vitality into her life.  She was engaged throughout the entire workshop and even came up to me after and said how excited she was to move more.  She was going to start with sitting down in a chair and standing up from a chair multiple times per day and work to do full squats without any assistance from anyone else.  This is a beautiful person with a powerful vision for her life.  She was not going to let her current circumstance overshadow the vision she had for her life.  As the teacher that day, I quickly became the student. 

We all have circumstances in our life that trouble us.  We all have areas in our life that are not where we would love them to be.  It may be in dealing with relationships, finances, work, family, or our health.  Is your vision for your life more powerful than those circumstances or are you living as a victim to your circumstances?  Now the question we need to ask is, “How do we create an empowering vision for our life?”

1 Become vulnerable.  Be open to your emotions and the sensations you feel in your body on a regular basis.  Be open to what inspires you, what challenges you, what gets your skin crawling and blood boiling, what you enjoy doing, and who you do and don’t enjoy being with.  The first key to developing a life vision is as Socrates said, “Know thyself.”

2 Cutlivate and determine the way you want to feel about life.  Many people confuse this with goals.  Achieving goals do not necessarily make you happy. The only true way to happiness is to choose it! There is no inherent meaning in things and experiences except the meaning we give it.  Instead of wishing for a red Ferrari or brand new Rolex to make you happy, how about choosing happiness now? Wouldn’t it be better to live your life happy and attract the things you want as an expression of that happiness rather than basing your happiness on the accomplishment of things or experiences?  The person who finds as much happiness in the smile of a child as they would in winning a bright red, brand new Ferrari has the whole world in their hands. 

3 Create a plan and a strategy for your life. Let me give you an example. Let us say you take where you are right now and your ultimate goal is peace, happiness, joy, and fulfillment.  Happiness doesn’t pay the bills.  Happiness doesn’t provide for you and your family.  Happiness doesn’t let you travel around the world.  Happiness doesn’t allow you to serve your fellow man.  Happiness must be backed by a 4 letter dirty word – WORK.  This reminds me of a parable of a fellow who approached the door of a house with a magnificent garden full of fresh vegetables and beautiful flowers.  People traveled from all over to see the unbelievable beauty of this creation.  The fellow knocked on the door and the owner of the garden answered the door.  The fellow asked the owner how he had come to buy a piece of land with such a beautiful garden. The man replied, ”When I bought the land, it was only weeds and grass.  I had a vision and saw the potential of what could be created and set forth working everyday to make that vision a reality. G-d had provided me with a blank piece of land.  It was our partnership that created what you see before you.”

We are not defined by our circumstances.  We are defined by who we are and who we become in dealing with our circumstances.  Like the beautiful woman in my office, when you create a vision for your life that is more powerful than any circumstance you may face, you will find that everything is serving your evolution.  You will find that every circumstance is a stepping stone to your happiness.  Each stone, large and small, elevates you to new heights if you open yourself up to the lessons that every opportunity can provide you.  My beautiful patient has inspired me to never give up in the pursuit of the vision I have for my life.  My hope is she has done the same for you.

Love,

Matt