Five Transformational Steps to an Extraordinary Life

Many of us, whether we are actively pursuing it or passively standing by and wishing, would like to see transformations occur in our life. How many of you have had those “aha” moments? Whether it was a fleeting thought of sheer genius or a genuine sense of peace and joy that may have only stayed for a moment. We look around us and see people with relationships that some would say “only happen in the movies,” and either say they must be one of the lucky ones or there is something wrong we don’t know about because nothing in life is that good. We look around us and see the Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Warren Buffets, and Tony Robbins and proclaim with confidence that they are so successful because they are really lucky or born with abilities that we don’t possess. We look around and see people with great physiques and abundant amounts of energy and vitality and assume they must have been born that way. The fact is that there are certain characteristics that differentiate success from failure, excellence from mediocrity, financial freedom from the chains of living paycheck to paycheck, and superior relationships from the hell of just co-existing. Here are what I call the Five Transformational Steps to an Extraordinary Life

#1: Take leaps of faith:

How many of you have felt the excitement of entering a new relationship for the first time? Upon just thinking of the other person you get a rush of the blood coursing its way through your body; your heart thumping out of your chest; a surge of energy where you’re paradoxically sleeping less yet have more energy than ever before; the feeling of butterflies moments before they open the door for a date; the excitement of bringing flowers just because you can’t get them off of your mind; or a text or a phone call just to let them know you are thinking about them. That may have never happened if you let your fear of asking that person out overcome your faith in the wonderful possibilities that could occur. You had no idea how it was going to work out. Many of you who live your lives passively from the sidelines thinking you’re playing it safe, but what your really doing is the riskiest thing of all – leaving life to chance. Choose today to step up to your greatness. Choose today to take a leap of faith and enjoy the best of what life has to offer.

“You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is." - Will Rogers

#2: Lighten the “F- - -“ up:

This is one of the best pieces of advice one my mentors ever gave me. For those of you who know me, I have one speed – GO! There is no in between for me. The most common word people have used to describe me is INTENSE. I remember I came to him because I was stressed out about something in my life. He let me vent and complain and then looked at me dead straight in the eyes and said ,”You need to lighten the f--- up! Just lighten up! You take life way too seriously!” It was exactly what I needed. It totally broke my pattern and I was able to change my state to one that served me, and interestingly enough, the more I began to “lighten up,” the more fun life became for me and I got better results in the process. All of us are going to have trials and tribulations along the way. The important thing to understand is that it’s just a normal part of life. The key is to laugh about it, learn from it, and move on.

“Stop taking life so seriously. You’ll never get out alive!” – Van Wilder

#3: The difference is in the details:

You know the book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff? I’d like to revise the title and it would be called SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF! Create a profuse amount of sweat over the small stuff. The difference is in the details. If you do not think the difference is in the details, try and forget you and your spouse’s anniversary or forget to pay your rent. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary lies in the details. When it comes to your business, every detail must be accounted for. In our practice, we keep statistics about new patients, report of findings, conversions, percent conversions, referrals, missed appointments, rescheduled appointments, PVA, OVA, total office visits, total patient volume, individual patient numbers, income, objective and subjective progress of our patient’s progress, names of family members and friends, and these are just a few. And another thing, we review them constantly and have systems in place to not let a single detail slip through the crack. And if a detail slips through the crack, we find it, figure out why, and create new systems to back up and reinforce our other systems, and if we have to, systems to back up those systems. It has transformed our practice. When you have a system for doing things and keeping track of the details, you can put all of your focus where it really counts. This leads me to step number four.

#4: Obsess over your people and get them to obsess over you:

In our practice, we do anything for our patients to ensure they have a legendary experience. We treat them like they are family. We really view our practice like one big family. We obsess over creating an outstanding experience each and every time a patient enters our office. We want to provide them with an experience they cannot get anywhere else in their life. The sad truth is most people are not truly happy and fulfilled in their lives. Most people go through life in a semi-comatosed state where life consists of just “going through the motions.” What would your business look like or your relationships look like if you brought a level of intention, focus, and presence that someone has never experience before? Not only would it transform their life, but it would transform your life and the success of your business and relationships as well.

#5: Confrontation is king!

One of the surest ways to guarantee the failure of your relationships and your business and guarantee yourself to live in a state of inner turmoil and frustration is to not confront issues IMMEDIATELY when they come up. The two most common reasons people don’t confront issues is because of fear or low self-esteem. Some people will even say is because they are “too nice” which is BS. It isn’t because you are “too nice.” It is because you are scared of what other people will think of you or because of the perceived worst-case outcomes you have gone over in your head. Either way it comes down to fear or low self-esteem. Now two things I must discuss about this topic. First, the type of confrontation I am talking about is not the aggressive, or even worse, the passive aggressive comments and actions that undermine and destroy relationships. I am talking about discussing issues from a place of love and compassion that may be blocking or prohibiting you from giving your full self into that relationship, whether that relationship be with a spouse, a business associate, client, customer, or even yourself. The second thing is I know confrontation is not easy. It is one of the most difficult things I’ve had to overcome. But you know what? If you want to take your life to the next level and live in the world on the other side of ordinary called extraordinary, it must be done.

Living a life of success, joy, and abundance is not for the lazy or weak at heart. Prosperous living requires a level of presence, focus, and intensity that very few are willing to put in. But life works in a very simple way. You only get out of it what you put into it. If you put in a poor effort, you get a poor response. If you put in an extraordinary effort, you get extraordinary results. There is only one question you need to answer for yourself right now. How great do you want your life to be?

Journey of a Lifetime!

Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world.
- Archimedes

As I sit here in a quaint coffee shop nestled back in a side street of my new neighborhood, I can’t help but sit back and bask in gratitude to what this new adventure in a distant land has brought into my life. I came over to Singapore with a crystal clear mission, vision, and purpose for what I wanted to get out of this experience and it has yet to disappoint. I am fulfilling my wildest dreams. Does that mean everything has been smooth or easy? The answer is it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Let’s recap some of the trials and tribulations shall we. This has been my first day off in 6 weeks – and yes that includes weekends. On average, my working day has been anywhere from 12-17 hours. Even one Friday night I slept at the office on an adjusting table because I didn’t finish with work until 11:30 PM and needed to be back Saturday morning at 7:30 AM for a full day so rather than waste the travel time to sleep in less than optimal conditions, which I will discuss in just a moment, I chose to sleep at the office using a towel as a blanket. Oh yea, and my shower consisted of cleansing with baby wipes. The first month I lived here, my accommodations was an empty, gutted house ready for demolition. Any day I could have gotten the call, to vacate because the house was coming down. I slept on the floor on the mattress pad, lived out of a suitcase, and had no hot water or refrigerator. I got very little sleep and was even so tired one day I fell asleep on the floor of my office in between patients. I got lost several times and was late almost everywhere trying to figure out the public transportation system which is completely new for me.

To many of you, this sounds like less of a dream and more of a nightmare. What about this experience has made this a dream? Let me share. I have a beautiful clinic that was built for me that I walked into and is exactly what I envisioned. It is in an amazing location and I have an outstanding staff. Everyone of my practice and financial goals are either being met, exceeded, or being surpassed in ways I never even fathomed – which is expanding my consciousness of what is possible so I am in the process of re-evaluating and increasing my goals. Everyday people are walking into the office and sharing how their lives have been transformed since starting chiropractic care. I now live in a beautiful place with marble floors, a mesmerizing 250 gallon salt water fish tank, and live-in maid in a fantastic location. I have met some amazing people from all over the world and tasted exotic and mouth-watering food from all over Asia. I began this journey with a 5 day trip to Thailand consisting of a 3 day live-a-board cruise in one the most sought after scuba diving locations in the world – which was my first time ever diving by the way. Not a bad way to begin my scuba diving career!

You see, life is all about perspective. What do you continue to focus on? Your focus and perspective determine your reality. Do you want to know how to be miserable? Continue to focus on what’s wrong with your life. Do you want to know how to change that? Begin to focus on what’s right in your life. It’s all about perspective. Not all of us want the same thing out of life. Some of us choose adventure, uncertainty, significance, and risk whereas others may choose stability, certainty, and safety. Neither is better or worse or right or wrong. It is about finding what’s important to you. Define for yourself exactly what you want out of life and know your life can change in an instant if you only change your perspective. I have found for me that an unwavering faith backed by a steadfast determination matched by the right perspective affords me the opportunity to live the life of my dreams. And the beautiful thing is the same can be true for you.

My Life at 35000 Feet

If you’ve never experienced sitting in an airplane at 35000 feet for 28 hours, it is a powerful experience. After a while you can no longer begin to differentiate between morning and night and there are only so many movies one can sit through without feeling a bit numb. Combine that with the stomach dropping turbulence and it makes for a wild ride. But do you want to know the most interesting part of the whole long-distance flying experience? It is being alone with your thoughts and yourself in one seat, in one location, for more than a day straight. It is enough to paralyze you and ignite you. The choice is always yours.

As I embark on a new journey in a new land in a new place I will be calling home for the next 3 years, many thoughts begin to run through my head. Am I making the right choice giving up a great life in the US? Will it be worth closing that chapter of my life and starting anew in a place with no family and very few friends? Will this experience be everything I expect it to be and more? I have been pondering and promulgating these questions in my mind and many more throughout the long flight and the best answer I have come up with is “I don’t know” but it is ok that I don’t know. I don’t know how everything will work out. I don’t know if this will be the right choice or if this journey will be worth it. I don’t know if this experience will be everything I hope it will be. I just don’t know. But what would life look like if we always knew what the next step would be. What if our entire life’s plan and all of the results were handed down to us ahead of time from G-d and there was no uncertainty or unknown? To some that may be very safe and reassuring, but to me, that sounds a bit boring.

I believe all of us were put on earth to create; to create the story that is our life. It is as if our life is a blank notebook and our story has yet to be told. We are sitting down with a pencil in hand and an unlimited supply of blank sheets for us to create and transcribe the story of our life. Will the story be a flawless literary piece the first time with no mistakes, bad sentences, messed up story lines, careless grammatical mistakes, and no points where you want to give up on your “story?” Not a chance! The beauty of the story is it never ends until it ends. You will undoubtedly write a part of the story that doesn’t make sense or doesn’t excite you and then what do you do? You erase it or throw the paper away again and again until you get it right. How do you know that you have gotten it right? Well, have you ever read a great book or story or watched an amazing movie, and said to yourself, “That was IT!”? It is an intrinsic feeling that reverberates throughout your body and moves you in such a way that is difficult to describe.

When we begin to sit back and realize there are no should-be’s or have-to’s and all there is to be is a creator who is continuously creating, we begin to shed ourselves of expectations which are wrought with disappointments. We begin to enter the zone of “being” where everything that is, is exactly where we are supposed to be. Do you want to be happier? Choose to be happier. Do you want to have more peace or more purpose in your life? Then choose it to be so! What is your story going to be? What is going to be your 28 hour plane ride at 35000 feet?