Reflections from 2012

As the year is coming to an end, I wanted to share with you my 25 best reflections and lessons learned from 2012. Here it goes:

 1. Give everything you have.  Then give more.  The fruit does not come from the end.  It comes from pushing through the end into the area of the unknown.

2. Forgive yourself and others.  Set down your bag of rocks and move forward.

3. People want your attention.  Give it to them.

4. Never give up on your dreams. 

5. Tell your loved ones you love them. Tell them a lot. Tell them often. And always with love.

6. Be grateful... For everything.

7. Look for opportunities to grow, even if it scares you... Especially if it scares you.

8. Tell the truth but speak with love.

9. Don't just look to be ordinary. Be unique. Be extraordinary.

10. Be humble. The truly confident and loving people shine with their sincerity, vulnerability, passion, and compassion, not the volume of their words and actions.

11. Meditate everyday and listen to your inner voice. You may not always like what it has to say, but sometimes that what holds the most valuable lessons. 

12. Read nonfiction. People spent thousands of hours mastering and boiling down a lifetime of
lessons into a couple hundred pages. Learn from them. 

13. Demonstrate discipline. Discipline in thoughts, words, and actions. Don't be a victim to your vices. Live consciously and choose wisely. 

14. Smile. You'll be happier and make others happier in the process. 

15. Become of service to others.  In a society built around technology,  people need your time, energy, and attention now more than ever. 

16. Show compassion for people.  Even the most hardened people need your compassion.  They are usually the ones who need it the most. 

17. Wear your heart on your sleeve. There is tremendous strength in vulnerability. 

18. Listen more than you speak. You don't know what you don't know and what you don't know usually turns out to be more powerful than what you already know. 

19. Build the people up around you. They will carry you further than you can take yourself alone. 

20. Dream big dreams and then get to work on making those dreams a reality. 

21. Surround yourself with people who are better than you. 

22. Write often. Even if nobody else gets to read it. 

23. You'll never regret kind words spoken to another person. 

24. Have patience. With yourself and others. 

25. Ask for help. It's builds stronger connections and opportunities to learn and grow.  

I hope you take these lessons, apply them to your life, and make 2013 the best year yet. 

Love,
Matt

Goal Setting 2013

It's really funny how life works sometimes.  Here's the story. I had a plan to work on my goals for 2013 and wanted someone to hold me accountable so I did something that I always wanted to do.  After a full morning in the office on Saturday, I flew from cozy Singapore to the chaotic city of Jakarta for one night to meet one of my best friends in order to set our goals, and ultimately, our life up for success in the coming year and beyond.  We rented a room in a 5 star hotel and intended to spend a few hours Saturday night and then Sunday morning designing the life we would love to live.  Then I would fly home Sunday evening.  Everything work out exactly as planned.  Actually it worked out better than planned.... Until it didn't. In a city known for its intense traffic jams that regularly last for hours upon hours, it was as if the the roads opened up just for me.  I hit virtually no traffic coming from the airport upon my arrive into the city as well as no traffic leaving to go back to the airport the following day.  I arrived and we had a spectacular dinner followed by a few very productive hours of goal setting.  Everything worked out so well, I even forgot my charger but the business center had an extra one I could borrow for free.  To top that off, I ran into one of the members of Guns and Roses in the elevator who I chatted with because he was in town to perform a concert and happened to be staying at the same hotel.  Very cool.  Then Sunday morning came and we had a great goal setting session followed by a breakfast made for kings followed by more goal setting. Soon after I made my way back to the airport without a hitch.  I leisurely walked around the airport and got on the plane with plenty of time to spare.  Everything was even going so well, the flight was designed to leave early.  Perfect. Now, remember I said everything worked out better than planned... Until it didn't? Here's where it didn't.  As I sit down on the plane and settle into my seat for a short flight back to Singapore, excited to arrive relatively early to settle in for an early night and prepare for a big day in the office tomorrow, we get an announcement.  There is something wrong with the air traffic control center, and we may be delayed for 20-30 minutes.  I am no flight expert but  it didn't sound like a 20-30 minute problem to me.  Well 30 minutes later, they get on the loud speaker and make another announcement, "The problem is worse than expected and there is no end in sight for the resolution.  Please be patient." This was a real test for me.  Actually it was more of an opportunity.  In my past, patience and looking for the positives in challenging situations was not one of my virtues.  I would have been annoyed and pissed off and would have just sat frustrated and negating the benefit of my entire weekend over in Jakarta.  I would have told myself I am never doing this again because something always goes wrong.  Except... What if I told myself a different story this time? What if instead of living in self pity that my fight was delayed and we could be sitting here for hours upon hours, I told myself a different story? How about instead of looking at myself jammed in a tiny window seat like a sardine with nothing to do, I told myself that I had my own private workstation free from cell phone interruptions and Internet distractions? How about instead of looking at this as a punishment, I looked at it as a gift to review my goals, read, and write? Well, that's exactly what I did! I literally started writing this blog during the delay with a smile on my face and not an ounce of frustration.  I was excited to have focused time, free from distraction to write and read.  I started this blog with the uncertainty of when we would take off and I was enjoying the solitude of being connected with my iPad notepad and my thoughts.  An hour and a half into the delay and halfway into the blog, they came on the loud speaker and made an announcement that we were clear for take off and we needed to turn off all our electronic devices.  Funny thing happened.  I was actually a bit disappointed I was being interrupted during my writing for take off!  Now I am 30,000 feet in the air, finishing my blog and sharing this experience with you.  And do you know what it all came down to? Perspective and presence.  My number one goal from this weekend is to live in the NOW; to bring an intentional presence to every moment in my life; to look for the gifts and opportunities in every situation.  This proved not to be a punishment, but instead provided me with 2 gifts - to practice my number one goal for the new year and share my experience with you in hopes that in some small way, this touches your life and inspires you to look for the gifts in every challenge and the opportunities in every set back.  Now get moving and set your goals for 2013.  

Who inspires you?

There are certain people in history that have always been a huge inspiration for me. There are certain individuals that I will never get a chance to meet in person, yet through their words and actions, will leave an indelible impact on my life. These individuals sit on my "intellectual board of trustees." These people give me strength when I think I have none. They inspire me in times of hardship and give me the strength to persevere in times of struggle. They open my heart to vulnerability and allow me to break down the walls of ego and judgment. They open my heart to love and teach me that we cannot love and judge at the same time. These individuals have been confronted with such significant criticism, judgment and hardship, yet continued to live with love in their heart. If you look any of these individual lives, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and Viktor Frankl, they faced extreme adversity yet stayed resolute in their values and convictions. Gandhi lived his whole life for service to equality of human rights and overall humanity through non-violent resistance. His life was about overcoming his own internal struggles and insecurities. Then you have Nelson Mandela who was jailed for 27 years in his struggle to create an end to apartheid. And lastly, there is Viktor Frankl who had to endure some of the harshest conditions known to mankind in the hell that were the Nazi concentration camps. He experienced the slaughter of his entire family and many of his friends, and not only survived, but used it as an opportunity to develop a philosophy and meaning of life surrounding the questions he asked about what made some of the prisoners die and others live who were going through the same experience. It inspired him to write a book called "Man's Search for Meaning," which I highly recommend reading. It was on his quest for answers that lead him to the conclusion that life is about meaning and when there is no meaning, there is no life. And who creates the meaning? You and me. There is no meaning in life except for the meaning that we place on it. He found that even in the most heinous and unconscionable situations, meaning can be created and value can be instilled - "Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.... For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment." It is not our experience in life that defines us. It is how we respond to our life's experiences that defines us. It is the value we create, not the value that is inherent, that creates meaning in our lives. We are co-creators. We may not always be able to create the situations of our lives, but we can always choose how we handle the situations we are confronted with. This goes for pleasurable as well as not so pleasurable experiences. I have found there to be 3 universal ways of "being" that allow me the opportunity to create meaning in every situation: vulnerability or authenticity, gratitude, and love. The power of vulnerability or authenticity is you are being 100% true to yourself and who you are. You are wearing your skin and emotions inside-out, on display for the world to see you in your purest form. There is tremendous strength in vulnerability. The strength is in the exposure of our weaknesses, because it is this very connection and openness of our weaknesses that destroys our ego and opens our heart for gratitude. Gratitude can only be given or received in its truest form when you are in a place of complete vulnerability where you are accepting and appreciating of what is exactly as it is. It is this connection with the infinite that opens our heart for love, and allows us to express our divine light and shine the way G-d intended. Marianne Williamson says it best, "Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.”

What is your song to the world?

As I sit down at one of my favorite cafes with a hot cup of green tea and open up my new book of the week, Killing Sacred Cows, I stumbled across a great quote by Henry David Thoreau that really got me thinking: "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." I sit here and watch hundreds of people walk by. Tall people and small people, young people and old people, rich people and poor people, mothers and fathers and single people, people in a rush and people walking slow, happy people and sad people, and I think to myself,  "How many of them know the song that is inside of themselves just asking to be sung to the world?"  I believe that our song, or stated a bit differently, our life's purpose, is a bit of nature and nurture; a bit of intrinsic talent combined with TLC; a bit of innate gifts combined with profuse sweat and an unwavering work ethic.  I do believe that everyone in us has a song to sing.  Here are the keys to finding out your song: #1: Spend some time alone every day to reflect and listen to the voice within. It's during times of peace and quiet that the noise within becomes louder than the noise from outside.  You may be met with intense discomfort during these times, but it important to still yourself and listen with your mind and your heart.  It is precisely this internal confusion and internal dialogue that will lead to clarity and certainty.  When I began to meditate, it was intensely challenging for me to sit still for even  10 minutes in perfect silence and internal contemplation.  Minutes felt like hours.  But the more I practiced, the easier it became and the more I looked forward to it.  I got out of it for a while and let other things take precedent over my meditation practice, but this is my declaration to recommit myself to sitting in silence everyday because I know how valuable it will be to me. As Rumi says, "Silence is the language of G-d. Everything else is only a translation." #2:  Read. Read voraciously.  Read every book on personal development, spirituality, finance, autobiographies, relationships, purpose, leadership, etc that you can get your hands on.  Fall in love with reading.  You can literally have conversations with the greatest minds that ever lived in the history of mankind without ever leaving your house.  You can read about the songs of the greatest minds that ever lived and find out what made them tick and what brought meaning and purpose to their lives.  I've invested thousands of dollars in books on all of the subjects I have mentioned, and it is the best investment I have ever made.  The return on my investment in books is incalculable.  It has fed me spiritually, physically, and emotionally.  Books have fed my mind, body, and soul.  Reading has changed my life.  As Confucious says, "You cannot open a book without learning something." #3:  Surround yourself with people who love you enough to call you out on your BS.  Our ego loves to be surrounded with people who constantly feed it and give it praise, but what is good for the ego, is not always what's best for the soul.  What the soul needs is to be around people who are going to lovingly challenge the ego and force you to confront your feelings of doubt, insecurity, and insensitivity as well as your feelings of overconfidence, carelessness, and laziness.  It is not during periods of comfort and praise that we grow.  It is during times of emotional, mental, and physical challenge that we grow.  What we need most are people that are going to provide us with a healthy dose of praise and challenge.  This allows us the certainty that we are safe while still providing us the avenues to challenge our minds, souls, and hearts to higher levels of consciousness.  As Sai Baba says, "Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it." #4 Write.  And write. And write. You should write as much as you read.  Writing gives you the opportunity to take all your wonderful, and not so wonderful thoughts and work on creating cohesive ideas out of all of the concepts and ideas jumbled up in your mind.  Writing well is a skill.  Like any other skill, it takes practice.  Lots of practice. It is through the practice of writing, however, that you create clarity out of the thoughts in your head.  It is where you take all of the wonderful information you have read and absorbed from your day to day activities and make it real for yourself and your life.  You see, when I write these blogs, it is as much for myself as it is for the people I write for.  For example, when I sat down just a few minutes ago to write this blog, I had no idea what I was going to write about.  I saw a quote in a book and it inspired me to write.  It is through the action of writing that I created much more clarity around the ideas I had circulating in my mind.  This has reminded me of the importance of meditating, reading, surrounding myself with the right people, and of course, writing! It doesn't matter whether you think you are a good writer or not.  As Nike says, "Just do it!" You don't have to show anyone what you write.  There is no one to judge you or your writing.  You don't need to write for anyone else except for you.  Grab a pen and a notebook and just start to write.  Your heart will thank you for it. So what are you waiting for? Don't wait for life to come to you.  You may be waiting forever.  If you want a better life, go out and take control.  Meet confrontation and challenge with an open heart and a loving mind.  And most of all... "Don't ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman.

Being healthy is simple!

All of our philosophical constructs must be followed by practical application in order to transform abstract ideas into massive value for our lives. It is when we create powerful action steps to back our philosophy that our lives really begin to take shape. If we truly want to live our best lives, we must remain congruent in our beliefs, thoughts, and actions. We must create an identity for ourselves and display that identity authentically in all areas of our lives. For example, my identity as a chiropractor is based on the premise that the body has an amazing power and intelligence inside of it that controls and regulates every cell, tissue, and organ of the body. It is that intelligence that attracts a sperm cell to an egg cell, creates a union, and divides and differentiates continuously until a 4 kg miracle of life is brought out to the world. It is an intelligence that is unmatched and unwavering in its commitment to keep us functioning at our highest level throughout our entire lifetimes. My belief is that we were not designed to live a life of poor health and suffering decline from the time we are 30 years old until death like many of us were brought up to believe. My belief is that we were designed to live our life like a candle. We were designed to shine bright for a lifetime. For example, imagine you buy a big beautiful candle that is guaranteed to burn for 7 days until it burns out. How does the candle burn on the 6th day compared to the 1st day? Is there any difference in the expression of that candle when 80% of its life is over? None! The candle shines bright throughout its entire life as long as it gets an essential requirement - oxygen. Maybe at the very end of its life, it will struggle, flicker a few times and then peacefully dissolve into the atmosphere, but that only occurs at the very end and not after half of its life is gone. As humans, we are designed to live an amazing, abundant, energy filled life until the very end where we may struggle to hang on to that very little bit of life left in us and then relatively quickly pass away , but not before we left our mark on the world through living a life of maximal expression. Sounds pretty great, right? So now that we have our philosophical construct, how do we make it happen? What action steps must we have in place to make this dream a reality? The answer to this is so simple that it eludes many of us. It is simple, yet not always so easy. The way to live this way is to live innately; to live a life from within; to live a life from above-down-inside-out; to live congruently to our genes and maximize our G-d given potential. As a chiropractor, my purpose to is free up that innate intelligence in the body to express itself at its full potential by detecting and correcting vertebral subluxations. It is primarily these subluxations that reduce the brightness and quality of your "flame." It is also through teaching people how to live an innately driven lifestyle which consists of moving our bodies consistently and rigorously on a regular basis, keeping a healthy mental attitude that is fed and challenged on a regular basis, and ingesting quality nutrients to nourish all of the cells of the body. Living an innate driven life is simple, although not at times all that easy. For example, you already know what foods to eat. Are there more nutrients in a bowl of blueberries or a bowl of rice? Are there more nutrients in a plate of strawberries and banana, or a bowl of cereal? Choosing what to eat is simple. If you can eat it directly from a tree or the ground, eat it. If it flies, swims, or runs, eat it occasionally. Other than that, don't touch it. Wait, so does that mean I should only be eating mostly fruits, vegetables, and nuts, and meat occasionally? That's exactly what I'm saying. We make health much more complicated than we really need to. Get back to the basics. Do you really think there is something more valuable in a bowl of Special K that we can't get in fruits and vegetables? Anything other than that is reducing our "flame." Quiet your mind and look within and I think you will find the answers to many of life's most important questions. Dream big, love often, live from within, and create a life of abundance where anything is possible. You deserve it.

Do you want more happiness in your life?

Life is a beautiful gift from G-d that affords us the opportunity to express our true nature of love and vitality to its fullest potential.  We wake up every morning to begin each day anew with the privilege to make each day the best day of our lives.  We are all given the opportunity to give, love, and serve out of our own abundance.  We are given the opportunity share, mold, and encourage the people around us.  We are given the opportunity to display our unique talents to the world and to make it a better place for ourselves and the people around us.  We are given the opportunity to exercise our own volitional consciousness to make powerful choices to shape our future.  We are given the opportunity to confront these gifts that we call challenges to reach higher levels of consciousness, spirituality, and creativity.  Circumstances may change.  The people around us may change.  Situations may change.  But there is one constant that is omnipresent and that is our power to choose and to be intentional about our choices.  Not our power to choose occurrences or outcomes but our ability to choose how we react to those situations and how we choose to respond.  There is one constant every successful person on the planet  possesses and exercises, whether you define success by spiritual abundance, financial abundance, personal abundance, or contribution.  That one constant is intention.  They live an intentional life.  They are intentional with their thoughts, words, and deeds.  They are intentional with their spiritual practice and physical practice.  They are intentional with their day to day activities.  They are intentional with their planning and training and the list goes on and on.  But the happiest people in the world are intentional in the areas the count the most: they are intentional with their love and gratitude for everything and everyone around them including themselves.  They live with  unconditional love and gratitude in their hearts so strong it magnifies and magnetizes everyone around them.  It is a genuine, conscious, and deliberate practice that creates a force for good and transformation in themselves and the people around them.  Everyday, I attempt to live my life as Mother Teresa describes that "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." Every moment of every day gives us the opportunity to choose.  To choose to love or not to love.  Choose wisely. Choose powerfully.

The Ultimate Path to Peace

Am I the only one who tries very hard to preserve the great times and rush or speed through the times wrought with trials and tribulations?  Do you ever find yourself looking at an inspiring moment and wishing you could stay in that moment or state forever?  Then a moment of challenge arises and you pray to get through it as quickly as possible with minimal to no "damage."  What is it about human nature that we find ourselves running toward pleasure and moving away from pain?  From strictly an evolutional and instinctual perspective, I can see where running away from physical pain serves us.  If you didn't find yourself running away from a saber tooth tiger or the pain of a fire, you wouldn't be around very long, however does the same principle apply to emotional pain and suffering?  Are we pre-wired or pre-programmed to avoid emotional discomfort and suffering or is it a learned response? While I am still pondering that question as well as many others, I have come to a firm and resolute conclusion that running away from our emotional discomfort and suffering not only does not serve us, but it actually prevents us from moving forward to higher levels of spiritual and emotional evolution analogous to trying to move forward while attached to a bungy cord.  The more we resist emotional discomfort and suffering, the more restriction and friction we create in our lives.  I would contend that it is only primarily through the ebbs and flows of life; through the contrast in our experiences that allows us to integrate these experiences for the pure benefit of our emotional and spiritual growth into higher levels of beings.  It is through excepting the way things are exactly as they are, good and bad, that we may find peace and progression in our lives.  It is through constant introspection and integration that we begin to become one with what Carl Jung refers to as the collective unconscious.  It is through life's joys as well as life's jabs that we learn to integrate ourselves into a higher level of being where we become one with all that is and all that ever will be.  When we learn to accept, rather than fight; when we learn to love, rather than judge; when we learn to build, rather than destroy; when we learn to listen, rather than ignore or block out; when we learn to look at everything as part of a larger and more magnificent picture of life, rather than blind ourselves to the truth that we are experiencing every moment of every day whether that truth be enjoyable or painful, the more we can open up our mind and hearts to the miracle of life.  We can then learn to appreciate life for what it is rather than what we want it to be.  We begin to experience more joy because we start to appreciate exactly where we are and not where we wish we were.  We find more peace because exactly where we are is exactly where we are supposed to be.  How long will this path take to figure out? I'll let you know when I get there, but I wouldn't hold your breath.  I have a long way to go.

Winning the Game of Life

I just started on a new book this afternoon, and although it is still too early to comment on the book in its entirety, I have found a simple yet profound quote that has already made the book worth its investment many times over.  The book is called Tell to Win and the quote is by adventure guru and founder of Sobek Expeditions, Richard Bangs.  He said, "I wanted them to understand I wasn't in the people transportation business, I was in the human transformation business."  Wow.  No wonder he built such an amazing and success company.  His adventure travel business was in the business of moving people, just not in the way we would traditionally define it.  He was in the business of moving people emotionally and physically in order to create transformation in people's lives.  What is the mission and purpose of your business? Or better yet, what is the purpose and mission of your life? Are you in the business of "just getting through life" or are you in the business of "transforming your life and the lives of everyone around you?"  The life transformation business is not for everyone.  It is not for the weak at heart.  It is not for people who are skittish about ruffling a few feathers, especially their own.  It isn't for everyone, however, it is available to anyone who wants it bad enough.  As I sit here and reflect of what my life's purpose is all about, I work on getting to the core to find out what moves me.  What gets my heart beating with excitement and what creates a wave of energy the reverberates through every cell in my body? It is the idea of transformation.  My old purpose was the constant pursuit of life mastery while creating an indelible impact on the lives around me.  That purpose served me for a while but it doesn't move me the way it once did.  My true purpose is to continually create transformational experiences in my life as well as have an indelible impact on the people around me by helping to create transformational experiences for them.  I realize now i am in the transformation business, for myself and for others.  Now this isn't about changing.  Changing sucks.  Change can be slow and painful and only result in minor alterations in your being.  Transformation on the other hand results in a complete evolution in your state of being.  It results in a fundamental shift in who you are at your core.  Many people have transformational experiences after major emotional events such as heart attacks and other near death experiences.  Many people allow life to happen to them rather than create the life they would love to live.  Many people live within the shackles of mediocrity instead of excelling at everything they do. I believe the life of your dreams comes from living your life by 3 major principles.  Number one, be present to your purpose.  Every thing you do should serve your purpose. Find the meaning in everything you do and you will find fulfillment at every corner.  Number 2, create compelling stories for your life.  Our life is one big story.  Our lives are defined by our story.  You are the author of your life, and your story has yet to be written.  The pen is in your hand and you can write anything you want.  You don't like what happened in your life? Create a whole new empowering story for what happened.  We can't always control what happens, but the pen allows us to create any meaning we want for what happened.  There is amazing power in the pen you hold in your hand.  Make every word count.  Make every word powerful and transformational. Number three, be open and allow wonderful things to pour into your life.  Live with a sense of deservedness.  We are all children of G-d.  Who are we not to expect wonderful and amazing and spectacular things to happen to us, for us, and for the people we love? You hold the pen and paper of your life in your hands.  What is your story going to be? 

This one thing can change your life...

Humans fascinate me.  But more specifically human behavior fascinates me.  It is that fascination that has lead me on a life long journey of deep internal reflection, dialogue, and transformation.  I figure if I can gain a deeper and more profound understand of my own thoughts, words, and behaviors, I can not only create the life of my dreams but I can become more effective and influential in helping others create the life of their dreams.  It is on this journey I have found one of the greatest gifts.  It has also been one of the greatest challenges I have had to face, but doesn't it work out that our greatest challenges usually are the very things that become our greatest gifts? It's not easy to always see and appreciate it at the time however.  This gift I speak of is vulnerability.  I know your head may be spinning right now as mine did when I was first confronted with the concept of vulnerability.  Especially when vulnerability was described as a strength.  That was news to me!!  I grew up with notion that perfection was a sign of strength.  That I needed to protect and guard my image at all costs.  The greatest sign of strength was being the best - at everything.  So I was led down the path in pursuit of straight As, captain of the baseball team, work out phenom, leadership guru, intellectual genius, and the list goes on and on.  I thought if I could achieve all of these things, or more specifically, if I could at least get people to perceive me as a pillar of perfection in all of these areas, it would be a sign of strength and power and influence.  The challenge with that is I wasn't perfect and never will be.  No one is.  We all have fears, demons, skeletons in our closet, inadequacies, and insecurities.  We have fears of failure, fears of success, fears of never finding love, fears of not being good enough, and fears of not belonging.  Some may experience each of these to lesser or greater degrees depending on the individual, but we all have our internal and external challenges.  The more we can come to terms with our own mortality, the more we can be open about our fears and challenges, the more we can express and come to terms with what scares us, the more we can shed this coat of protection that blocks us from the transformations we crave deep in our souls to create the lives we were meant to live.  And the more we can shed these layers of protection we so carefully have built up over the years, the more we can release the light that resides inside each and every one of us.  This is possible for everyone of us, but it does not come without a price.  That price is hard word, deep internal reflection, and times of severe emotional discomfort.  It is a challenge and a calling very few people will undertake because of the enormity of the process but the rewards are there for the taking if you are willing to venture out from protection of your cocoon into the world of vulnerability.  Being vulnerable is about being truly honest with  yourself about your weaknesses and your strengths.  It is about creating a complete connection and transparency with your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.  It is about seeing yourself for what you are and not what you wished or hoped that you were. It is about shedding the facade and displaying your naked self to the world and as Brene Browne, PhD would say, "Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am brave and worthy of love and belonging."  Now go out there and be imperfect. Be vulnerable.  And let your true self shine because in the famous words of Howard Thurman, "Don't ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.  Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive."

"Life is Difficult"

The thing I love about books is it gives me the rare opportunity to have challenging and deeply reflective philosophical conversations with some of the brightest minds that ever lived. The one I am currently reading is called "The Road Less Traveled." The first sentence of the first page is simple, yet profound. "Life is difficult." Wow. Not too encouraging at first glance. One may ask, what would compel you to read a book that began with a sentence of that magnitude? Why not just read a book called Life is Easy or 10 Easy Steps to Positive Thinking Your Way to a Wonderful Life? We all know there are plenty of those out there! I'll tell you why. I was compelled to read this book because there was something inside of me, at the core of my being, that tells me life is more than peaches and cream or butterflies and sunflowers. Something was telling me that there was an incongruency between what I innately knew to be true and some of the fluff I have read in other books. Don't get me wrong. I believe positive affirmations, goals, and positive thinking is very valuable and definitely has its place but it is only part of the big picture. The author talks about the second law of thermodynamics and it's application to psychology. The second law of thermodynamics talks about how over time organized states will tend toward disorder unless an outside force is applied. Human beings are no exception to that law. Human beings will tend toward the path of least resistance, mentally and physically, unless we make conscious choices to the contrary. Life takes work. It takes a commitment to constant and never ending improvement. It is a constant battle between succumbing to the laziness that is at our core and the drive toward excellence the dually sits at our core. Without conscious thought and work, laziness will prevail and our lives slowly fall to greater levels of disorder and chaos. However, contrarily, with daily, no, second to second and moment to moment observation of our thoughts and actions, we can slowly turn this massive undertaking into an achievable outcome of love, peace, and gratitude. Does it take work? An extraordinary amount of work and persistence. Is it worth it? It's a challenging and deeply personal question that only you can answer for yourself. After all, life is difficult.

When you are forced to say good-bye...

There is a uniqueness in a child's love for his grandparents. I had to say good-bye for the last time to an amazing woman last week - my grandmother. She was a woman who exemplified what it is to be a loving mother, wife, and grandmother. She always gave with an open heart and lived with a special zest for life I have seen very rarely in my life. She was funny and charismatic and possessed an amazing strength and determination. She was always a huge source of inspiration for me and a rock of support I could always count on. She was my biggest fan and loved without judgment. Her biggest desire was for me to be happy. What do you do when you are forced to say good-bye? What do you do when someone is taken from you at a time when need them the most? What do you do with the words that were left unsaid or certain actions were left undone? These are some of the questions I was left asking myself as I reflected on the passing of my grandma and these are the conclusions I came to: Open up your heart and love often. Judge less and praise more. Don't live in regret of the past or fear of the future because it takes away from the only time that exists - the present. Write thank you cards often and show appreciation for the people in your life. Say "I love you" more. Smile and laugh freely. Help someone in need - it's something you will never regret. Open more doors for people - literally and figuratively. Don't hold back on life. Find your purpose and live it everyday. Be grateful - for everything. Tears are the river of your soul - let them flow. Bask in the little things in life - they are usually what lead to the bigger things. Live more like a child - free. Move more everyday - you owe it to yourself and for those who can't move. Do something nice for a child. Listen to the well-lived (elderly) - they possess lots of wisdom. Wear your heart on your sleeve - it may get broken but it is the only way for it to get captured. Be more vulnerable - it is a sign of true strength. Love yourself more - there is no one else like you. Take more leaps - who knows? You just may fly. If you aren't passionate about your work - change it. Stay focused but take breaks to look around more - there is beauty all around you. Take time to daydream - the best ones may become your future reality. My grandma may have passed but her spirit will live on in my heart forever. I love you grandma.