The Greatest Gift

We can only get so far in life if we do it alone.  We can accomplish so much more, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, when we share our lives with people we deeply care about.  At the beginning of the year, three of my best friends and myself created a mastermind or a think tank for us to constantly work on personal development and hold each other accountable in all areas of life for creating and living with ridiculously high standards.  It was created with the intention for it to be an open forum as well as a safe place for each of us to challenge and share with each other as well as put our egos aside and display a level of vulnerability that allows each of us to tap into the very core of our being and grow. It has evolved over the months as we dive deeper into who we are as individuals and tap into a place that is only possible from sharing candidly with other people.  We have tackled life goals, relationships, fears, and ego as well as victories and dreams.  We have shared tears and frustration, anger and resentment as well as joy and gratitude, passion and enthusiasm. The core people in my life remind me what true friendships and relationships are all about.  It’s about love and connection. It’s about growth. It’s about tapping into emotions that are only possible through sharing with other people from a place of unconditional love and acceptance. 

Many times we choose to share our life with people on a very superficial level. We only share a piece of ourselves for fear of rejection or not being good enough.  We create a life of acquaintances that we work hard to “look good” in front of. We create friendships that are fun but never truly challenge us from a place that can only come from complete vulnerability. We end up creating a life that is pleasant rather than a life that is exciting and truly fulfilling. 

I am beyond grateful for the people in the “inner circle” of my life.  I am grateful for the opportunity to share with them without judgment and vice versa.  One of the most challenging things you will ever do in your life is tap into the very core of who you are and put it on display for the people who are most important to you to see.  It requires a tremendous level of courage yet provides for the space where true love and connection are found.

Love,

Matt

Are you committed or are you attached?

Health talk at my office

The answer to this question is LIFE CHANGING.  I lived a large portion of my life full of attachments. Everything about my life, my wellbeing, and my happiness was attached to things or people.  I was attached to outcomes and to results from other people.  My life was very dependent on the perception of others, how things would turn out, or even the fear of how things would turn out.  I remember when I was scared to do public speaking because I was attached to whether or not people would like me. I was afraid to be vulnerable and reveal my true self because I was attached to people’s opinions of me.  I was afraid to take risks and welcome challenges into my life because I was attached to a very specific outcome.  I would give with expectations of receiving something and that something was very specific in every situation and there was no wavering from that.  Would you like to know the key to being UNHAPPY? Create rules and attachments that are so strict and stringent that they allow for no flexibility or adaptation.  Attach your happiness to the opinions of others. See yourself as a failure if achieve anything other than perfection.  It is when I started to shift my life from attachments to commitments that my life really transformed.

When you commit to something, you are focused on the process and the outcome from an internal perspective, not an external perspective.  What I mean is this – success and happiness is an inside job.  When I do a presentation or a lecture, rather than attaching myself to what the group will think about me, I commit myself to delivering the most powerful and empowering message I have ever delivered.  I have control over my commitment to give my all, to prepare, and to be fully present.  I have no control over how people are going to perceive me.  It is a useless emotion to attach myself to that.

Last week, we had our largest new patient health class to date.  We even had to go borrow chairs from other businesses in our area to accommodate everyone.  It was very exciting.  It is a class I am incredibly proud of and I KNOW the information is life changing.  In the past I would have been so concerned with whether or not the people would like me, like the information, and feel good about the talk.  Last week, rather then focus on the things I could not control, I decided to commit myself to giving everyone there everything I had.  I committed to focus on the delivery of the talk from the perspective of the answer to this one question, “What if everyone in the audience’s life was dependent on this one hour lecture and the information would literally change the present and future of the lives of themselves and the lives of their families?”  I had no other option than to commit myself to being fully present, connected, and passionate about every one of the 60 minutes I had with these people. 

What if we structured our life where we banished all attachments and committed ourselves instead to serving the highest versions of ourselves in every relationship, every business, every workout, and every single thing in our lives?  This may sound exhausting, but I promise, paradoxically, it adds a new dimension of energy, vigor, and excitement that so few people ever truly tap into.

What are you going to commit to today?

Love,
Matt

Is your life empowering...or not?

Waterfall in Chiang Mai, Thailand

Life is about the perspective we take in the following three situations: times of idleness where it appears as though nothing is happening, times of victory where it seems like everything is happening, and times of challenge where a wave crashes over us and it feels as though we are tumbling head over feet in a washing machine with no end in site.  The answer is the same for all three. We must create a perspective around gratitude and mobilization. We must be grateful for every situation that arises in our life because it all serves us in realizing our true potential.  

I grew up on the beach and I remember when I was a kid, I used to love to go body boarding on the big waves.  Some of my greatest memories were crashing and burning.  When I relaxed and did not try to fight the power of the wave, I could enjoy the excitement of the twisting and turning with a knowing that it would spit me out of the water in just a few moments.  When I fought it, I would instantly become scared and lose that sense of excitement.  On the opposite side of the coin, I could choose to find enjoyment in the process of riding a great wave while constantly evaluating what worked and what didn’t work so I could be even more successful next time.  

We always need to evaluate how we could’ve ridden that wave longer, faster, and even bring more people with us on the wave which will lead to more excitement, more fulfillment, and improve our ability to ride that wave even better. Some people are so good at this it appears they are riding a permanent wave of success, but I assure you they are not.  They are just so good around creating empowering perspectives while learning to right their crash and burns quickly and efficiently and extending their wave riding experience, it just appears that way.

When we manage our perspective on life’s experiences, we master our life.  When we learn how to create empowering meanings to EVERY situation, we master our life.  When we view life as a daring adventure that is meant to be lived fully and completely, we are able to find empowering meaning in the stillness of the water, rush of a monster wave, and even the crash and burn that will inevitably occur at times.  When we get to this point, we are able to experience the majesty of life in all of its forms and functions.  This is the key to life. 

Love,

Matt