This one thing can change your life...

Me in Bali

The more and more that I study successful people, read books on success and personal development, and become an observant observer of my own habits and behaviors, the more I realize there are certain things that are unequivocally and uncompromisingly essential to living a brilliant life.  Is motivation important? Yes. Is discipline important? Absolutely. Is compassion, empathy, and communication important? Without a doubt they are.  Although all of these are important, none of these are made possible without the lynchpin that holds every piece together.  There is one thing that makes all of these possible and so much more.  I cannot overstate the importance of this trait.  I cannot drill enough the capacity of this skill to transform your life.  Without further ado, allow me to share this life-building, life-changing, and life-magnifying trait you. It is STATE MANAGEMENT.  The good old ability to manage your state at all times, in all situations, and in all circumstances can do more for your life than anything else you can master. It is also probably the single most difficult thing to master as well.  But as we talked about before, the truly magnificent things in life are not easy.  If the magnificent things in life were easy, everybody would be living magnificent lives but we know these kind of lives are far and few between. Why? Because they take work! And work is a dirty little word to most people but I’m digressing. We will leave that for an article on another day.

So what is state management?  State management is the ability to control, create, and express any emotion and any decision through volitional consciousness in any situation or circumstance. Huh? Let me break it down for you.  It is the power of choice.  It is the power to have full control over your life no matter what is going on.  It is the ability to choose love amidst the hate that is all around; to choose hope in times of challenge; to choose compassion when someone is verbally attacking us; to choose discipline in times of distraction; to choose inspiration when we are feeling weak and tired; to choose to serve in times of personal struggle; to see the gifts in life when everything seems to be against us; to choose to be powerful when we are feeling beat down; to choose patience in times of inner turmoil; to choose faith in times of adversity; and to choose loving words, thoughts, and deeds when it is so easy to go the other direction.

Unfortunately, many people are ruled by their emotions.  They are reactive rather than proactive.  They allow the emotion of the moment to dictate their next move rather than taking control of their life.  They have a Pavlovian conditioned response to any stimulus that enters their sphere.  Just like the dog that salivates when they hear the bell ring, most people react to what goes on around them rather than being in control of their lives.  A driver cuts you off? The road rage kicks in.  A spouse or partner pushes your button? You react, and most likely not from a loving place.  A rough day at work? You’re miserable and take it out on everyone around you. A boss or client yells at you? You get depressed, angry, or sad. Financial challenges, relationship issues, or overwhelmed with work? You get annoyed, obsessive, or feel helpless or paralyzed.  You see that slice of pizza or French fries? You have to have it.  Did you exercise today? Nope, just did not have the motivation. Have you started that new project or goal you have been meaning to get to? Not yet because you got caught up with television.  Did you open that book you know you need to read? Not enough time in the day and you are too tired.  You see, this list could go on forever!  Many of us are totally run by our emotions in all areas of our life.  We have very little ability to effectively manage our state.  I can’t begin to speak as though I have perfected this yet. I wish I did! The truth is that creating the ability to master my state has been something I have been working on for years and has proved to be a huge challenge. And yes, it has improved dramatically but I still have a long way to go before I would consider myself a guru in this area.

I have discovered firsthand how improving this area of my life has transformed myself as a person, a leader, a boss, a friend, a son, and my relationship with myself. It is something I know I will be committing the rest of my life to mastering and I still will only put a dent in the realm of what is possible in this area.  The beautiful thing is even a small dent is analogous to dropping a pebble in the middle of a still pond where small changes create a ripple effect that shakes the very foundation of who you are as a person and the people around you. It will transform you as a person and create a level of control in your life that so few people possess.  It will be exactly what you need to literally manifest the life you have always wanted.  I know of nothing more powerful and transformational in the world of personal development than this.  I hope you enjoy the ride.

Love,

Matt