Master the Art of Living - Part 2

There is something majestic about waking up when it is still dark out and watching the sunrise.  It is energizing yet at the same time very centering and grounding.  I think it was built into our DNA.  Since the beginning of time, human beings have always woken up with the sunrise and went down to sleep shortly after sunset.   There was no other option.  Except for a little fire, there was no other option to function in the dark, and our shelters were minimal so it just made sense to wake up with the sunlight.  Also, we did not have big fluffy blankets, feather pillows, and blackout shades to keep us in bed sleeping until the late hours of the morning, and for some of us, the early hours of the afternoon.  Combine that with the need to maximize the sunlight to be able to hunt and gather our food and waking up at sunrise was not only the norm, it was a necessity.

Now fast forward a few hundred thousand years and the things we were once doing as a necessity have become a luxury.  Time for the most part is no longer a concern.  We no longer need to spend entire days scouring the planet in search of food and shelter.  What once was spending days chasing down large animals has turned into fighting for a few minutes over a parking spot, or if you are feeling a bit adventurous, parking in the back and actually taking a walk.  We have traded in waking up at sunrise ready to take on the day for long mornings sleeping in and short drives to the market.  Why? Simply because we can.   We know we don’t have to wake up at dawn anymore or exercise because anything that we need for survival is easily found just a short distance away. When things no longer become a necessity and instead become a luxury, it takes a very important mental muscle to stay on the path – commitment.

I remember years ago when I used to say there was not enough time in the day to accomplish everything I wanted to do.  Then I realized how much time in a day I was really wasting.  From waking up late to watching too much television to spending too much time doing nothing of importance on the internet, I was really limiting my potential through waste.  Now I am doing exponentially more than I ever accomplished in the past with the potential for more time being discovered everyday to do more and be more.  Just this morning for example, I had plans to sleep in a bit later than usual, but the universe had other plans for me.  Apparently those plans were to wake me up at 5:30 in the morning on a Sunday.  But in doing so I am going to be able to take care of my laundry, straighten up my home, write a blog, read, and workout before most people even open up their eyes.  Although this morning wasn’t a part of my plan, it was a part of the master plan.  Now, in order for me to make this an everyday occurrence, it is going to take some flexing of the mental muscle we talked about earlier called commitment.

Commitment does not just apply to waking up early and exercising.  Commitment applies to every aspect of our life.  If you truly want an amazing life, you have to commit to it! You have to commit to making every day better than the last.  You have to commit to yourself and making sure you make your health, happiness, and fulfillment a priority and put in the work to do so.  You have to commit to being the best at your career and working everyday to reach your true potential.  You have to commitment to your relationships making everyday more exciting than the last.  Are you still working on impressing and surprising your partner 5, 10, and 15 years down the line? If not, why not?  Are you present at work, and conscious of every moment, every action, and every project? Do you have a whatever-it-takes attitude when it comes to making sure you exercise and eat healthy everyday, even if that means waking up early, going to bed late, or using your lunch time to do push ups?  Many desire a life that they would love to have but very few are truly committed to making that happen.  It continues to be a pipe dream rather than a reality for nothing other than they do not commit to making it happen. 

Sustained, reproducible success in life does not happen by accident.  It takes an extraordinary and unwavering commitment.  Let me give you an example.  I love what I do for a living.  I love being a chiropractor.  I love helping to transform lives and I take that responsibility very seriously.  I have built the practice of my dreams which is full of amazing people that I get to experience and touch every single day.  When I moved over to Singapore, there were two things that made that possible – faith that my dream of changing the world would come true backed by an unwavering and unshakable commitment to seeing it through until it became a reality.  I commit everyday to making myself better so I can be better for my patients.  I am present and study every adjustment I give to a person and evaluate how I can be more specific, more present, and more powerful for the next patient.  I study every dialogue with my staff and my patients and evaluate how I can communicate more effectively and with more passion in order to create more of a connection in every interaction after that.  This process never stops.  Seventy thousand adjustments later, I still replay every single one and determine I how can be better for the next one.

If you truly want success, physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and financially, you have to be willing to commit.  You have to be willing to live your life outside of your comfort zone and explore into an area of life called your stretch zone.  Commit to being great, and what better day to choose to start than today?

Love,

Matt

Master the Art of Living - Part 1

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As an individual who is on a quest to master the art of living, I am always seeking to differentiate between the people that live extraordinary lives from the ones that live ordinary lives; between the people that have extraordinary relationships from the people that have ordinary, or even worse, dismal relationships; between the people that are seemingly transcendently connected to themselves and the people around them from the people who live their lives in inner turmoil and disconnected from the world around them.   How do we go beyond the status quo and begin to create transformation lives for ourselves and the people around us?  How do we find peace, love, and abundance in all areas of our life, and most of all, how do we live a life of intense meaning and purpose in order to leave this world a better place just because we lived in it?  As I have said before, the quality of the questions we ask will determine the quality of our life.  We are a reflection of where we place our focus.  Where our attention goes, our energy flows, and where our energy flows is where we create our reality.  What are you creating? 

I’ll tell you what I am creating in my life.  I call these the 5 Foundational Qualities to Master the Art of Living.  They are Authenticity, Commitment, Attraction, Decisiveness, and Faith. Each of the next 5 posts will tackle each of the 5 Qualities.  Let’s begin with the first one – Authenticity.

Authenticity is incredibly powerful.  It is the demonstration of your true being down to your very core.  It is the full acceptance of who you are as you are and demonstrating that to the world.  It is embracing the strengths and weaknesses you possess, and even loving yourself for them.  It is defining and living accordance to your highest values.  It is being true to your word and being honest in all that you do.  People that are authentic radiate trust and have a deep connection with themselves that is envious to most people.  The path to authenticity begins with “Living Consciously “ and then full “Self-Acceptance” as Nathaniel Branden describes so well in his book Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. 

You must first be present and aware of everything in your life, from what goes on externally to the feelings and emotions it creates inside of you.  It is full and complete awareness of the “good” and the “bad” in your life.  Many of us are taught to shut out negative emotions and only think positively.  That’s not living.  That’s only half of living.  We must live with the openness and the awareness to allow everything into our life, and be present in the process.  Only from this presence can we move to the next step which is “Self-Acceptance.” This is a level of unconditional, complete, and full self-acceptance of everything about who we are, where we are, and what we currently stand for.  I know this last sentence was full of redundancy, but I really want to get my point across.  You do not get to choose what to accept and what you don’t accept about yourself.  You must accept everything about your current life situation, because only then can you transcend who you are in the present and take responsibility to create who you choose to become from this point forward.  This is the toughest step for most, yet if you can take steps to fall in unconditional love with yourself for who you are and exactly as you are, you will feel a sense of joy and freedom you never knew was possible.  I am still working on these steps myself, but even a small glimpse into what is possible when I have mastered the art of living authentically through the practice of  “Living Consciously” and “Self-Acceptance” has given me a level of excitement and boyish wonder to what is truly possible which is a world of unlimited possibility.

We only have a very short time on this planet. Every moment passed is a moment we never get back.   We all get the same time everyday to make a difference in our lives and the lives of those around us. What are you going to do with it?

Love,

Matt

What are you scared of?

Are you doing something everyday that scares you? If not, why not? If we were to be truly honest with ourselves, we all have aspirations and dreams that we would love to create in our lives. The unfortunate truth is most people are completely disconnected from where they currently are to where they would love their lives to be.  Many times even if people do know the path that must be taken, they let their egos keep them from pursuing their dreams.  They listen to that little voice in their head that says they aren't good enough, strong enough, you may fail, you may look stupid, it may challenge your previous beliefs and make you realize everything you've known and built your life on is no longer true.  Many people fall victim to the comfort of the known rather than be a truth seeker of the unknown. And the unknown is usually where the sweetest fruit is found.  

How would our lives look if we looked at the ego from a different perspective? What if we took everything that challenged our ego and state of being, and used it as an opportunity to confront and challenge our inner demons and fears as ways of reaching higher and higher levels of consciousness? What if this ego that many people view as bad, is actually there to serve us and provide endless opportunities for growth and fulfillment? Unfortunately, there is no cookie-cutter manual to joy and fulfillment.  It is available to anyone but so few will actually take on the lifelong challenge of discovering it. 

Today was a perfect illustration for me and I share the picture of the moment in this blog.  I was at yoga this morning which proved to be a very challenging class giving me opportunities to try new poses I have yet to do.  One such pose is where you start off in the Crow position where you balance on your hands with your legs off the ground balancing on the back of your arms.  Then you have to shift your body weight forward and bring your face to lightly kiss the ground.  If you lose your balance at this point, you face plant into the ground! From here, you use your arms and core strength to extend your legs in the air and form a 45 degree plank seen above.  It requires the physical strength to perform the pose as well as the mental courage to place your body in a vulnerable position where the threat of smashing your face into the ground is very real.  It was scary and exhilarating at the same time.  

We all have opportunities like these to test our strength and courage on a daily basis.  Whether it be our physical courage in our workouts, our spiritual courage in our faith and beliefs, our emotional courage in our relationships, our mental courage in our finances, business, and everyday life events, there are always opportunities to use our ego and the valuable information we are experiencing in those moments.  This information is usually in the form of emotions, feelings, and physiological changes that go on in our body.  That pit in the stomach is telling you something.  That surge of blood you feel exploding into your brain is telling you something.  Those butterflies you experience in your stomach are telling something.  Take this valuable information, stay present, and ask yourself what you can do to challenge yourself to a greater life.

Go ahead and take the leap.  What are you scared of? 

Love,

Matt

What is your "10 PM?"

“Do you think I like going to bed at 10 PM?” These were the words spoken to me by one of my mentors the other night, and I have not been able to get them off my mind.  I believe there is a reason we get struck with ideas, concepts, and challenges over and over again.  It is G-d’s way of trying to communicate to us that there are areas of our life we need to bring more awareness, more presence, and more time to.  Although they may feel like an annoyance, it is really one of the greatest gifts we can be given – only if we are open to receiving it of course.  But I digress.  Let me get back to the point.  That one phrase carries with it a tremendous amount of meaning for me.  That meaning can clearly be illustrated by an idea Napoleon Hill articulated in his classic book, Think and Grow Rich.  He professed that you can have anything you want in life as long as it was crystal clear on what you would be willing to give up in the process.  For my mentor, he was willing to give up his late nights in front of the television in order to open up the time to live out his dreams. 

It is kind of ironic that my “10 PM” struck me and compelled me to immediately put “pen to paper” at midnight.  That must be a “10 PM” for me.  I am willing to forgo an extra hour of sleep so that I can fulfill my passion for writing and inspiring people through my words and experiences.  If I waited until morning, this thought may have passed me by.  If I only took note of what I wanted to say, the inspiration of the moment may have never been retrieved again.  For that reason, I decided to give up the comfort of a full night’s sleep to complete this article of inspiration.  It is one thing to know what it is that you want in life.  That is usually the easy part.  The tough part is deciding what you are willing to give up in order to make that dream a reality.  Until you get to the point where you are willing to give up the comfort and ease of playing it safe and doing what everyone else does, you will continue to get what everyone else “gets.” 

The most successful people in the world are clear on what there “10 PM” is.  Now that you know what you want, what are you willing to give up to get there?  Is it less TV, less relaxing, or even less sleep?  Is it less comfort, less safety, and the less security you will only find by playing life all out?  Are you willing to risk failure and public criticism? Are you willing to risk support from family and friends by following your dreams?  Until you are willing to define and draw a line in the sand what your dreams are worth to you, you will continue to find your dreams just outside your reach.  Set your goals.  Make your commitments. And give up something that is no longer serving you in order to attract more of what you actually want.  The potential is within you.  Are you ready to express it?

Love,

Matt

Turning trials into triumphs...

“There are two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”  This quote was made by one of the brightest minds that ever lived – Albert Einstein.  The more and more that I read and study the art and skills of personal development, transformation, success, and fulfillment, the more these wise words ring true for me.  It’s really easy to think of things as a miracle when all of our dreams and desires are met.  It is easy to believe in miracles when you meet the man/woman of your dreams, score the dream job, and everything in life just seems to be falling into place for you.  It is easy to believe in miracles when life turns out exactly like you planned, exactly like you hoped it would.  But what happens when that devastating break up occurs?  What happens when your dream job lands just out of reach?  Or how about when that investment goes sour?  What then? Are only good things that happen miracles and the bad things that happen not?  When “good” things happen to us, we tend to party, and when “bad” things happen to us, we tend to ponder.  We tend to ponder about why we aren’t good enough and why bad things happen to good people, and on and on and on.  But what if these “bad” things are not really such bad things?

Many times the things that we perceive as negative because they were not a part of our original master plan turn out to be blessings.  I have had many challenging things occur in my life, yet if I look hard enough, I can see the miracles in every single one of them.  (Integrating that emotionally as a part of my nervous system to really embrace the change is a whole different conversation!)  But if I look hard enough there is a gift in every circumstance.  When we look at heroes like Viktor Frankl, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela and Mother Theresa, there are miracles that came out of all of their challenging situations.

There are certain key actions that can be taken to transform your life as though everything is a miracle:

#1 The answers reside on the inside – not the outside

Much of why I write these blogs are as much for myself as they are for you.  I spend hours and hours every week reading and listening to audios on spirituality, success, relationships, and fulfillment, but nothing creates the powerful transformation that seeking my own answers from within does.  The hours of studying create a resource, but that resource must be tapped from within.  My two favorite ways are meditation and writing.  Meditation gives me the opportunity to observe my thoughts, and writing gives me the opportunity to coherently (I hope!) put these thoughts into an organized arrangement. It is such a paradox that in a world where it is so easy to stay connected to the outside world are usually exactly the things that disconnect us from the inside.

#2 Everything is a lesson

As Wayne Dyer says, “When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”  We tend to group things in our lives into good and bad.  What if we grouped everything into one category – life?  And we viewed everything in life as part of the true master plan that was providing us with circumstances and opportunities to become the highest versions of ourselves.  That challenge and success were both two sides of the same coin equally serving us to create the life of our dreams.  When we learn, we grow.  When we grow, we become more fulfilled.  But in order to grow we need to be challenged.  Many times the prayers that go unanswered tend to be more powerful than the prayers that go answered.

#3 Live with love and integrity

Our greatest lives come from living our lives with love in our hearts and integrity in our mind.  I have never met someone who lived with regrets when they were serving humanity with love and integrity.   Imagine if we all strove to live with the love of Mother Theresa, the resolve of Nelson Mandela, the integrity of Martin Luther King Jr, and the mentality of Viktor Frankl.  Imagine if you expressed the love for your family, friends, and clients the way Mother Theresa did for the sick and indigent on the streets of Calcutta.  Imagine if you had the resolve in your business to deliver the highest quality service and goods to transform as many lives as possible the way Nelson Mandela went to jail for 27 years to stand by his ideals.  Imagine if you lived with the integrity to stand by your beliefs the way Martin Luther King Jr did knowing that any day could be his last when he got up on platforms around the country.  Imagine if you developed the mental toughness that Viktor Frankl did, surviving years in Nazi concentration camps while he watched his wife, kids, family, and friends perish all around him. 

We have all been given this gift called life and it is up to us to decide what to do with it.  No matter where you on this journey, whether you feel like you are at the very beginning like myself, or you are further along like some of the ones like King, Frankl, Mandela, and Mother Theresa, enjoy the process and know there is always room for growth.  There is always room to create more change and more transformation in ourselves and in the lives of others.  Just don’t forget to love and appreciate yourself in the process.

Love,

Matt

4 Keys to an Inspired Life

Have you ever found yourself inspired and moved by greatness and people who are masterful in their field of expertise? Have you found yourself mesmerized by an amazing movie where you find tears of inspiration rolling down your face at the end or a book that captivates you and captures your attention for hours as if time and the outside world no longer exists? Have you found yourself inspired by the impenetrable connectedness of a couple in love or the art at which a professional athlete performs their craft? 

I find that I am inspired by that of which I would love to have more of in my life.  As human beings, we have these internal drives for greatness and mastery, but they are usually overshadowed by our feelings of fear and inadequacy.  We allow our fears to overtake our desire for greatness.  Instead we live lives of mediocrity while attempting to reach these levels of fulfillment by vicariously living through the books, movies, and relationships around us.  These become only fleeting feelings that soon dissipate when the experience is over because we are not creating it for ourselves in our own lives.  We need to choose greatness and accept nothing less.  We need to choose mastery in all areas of our life.  We need to take the time and put in the work to become beacons of inspiration rather than just trying to absorb the light from others.

I have identified 4 key areas to begin to build an inspired life:

#1 Make the Time

You must make time to work on yourself.  If you put yourself and your personal development last, you will always run out of time.  There will always be another television show to watch, job to do, or task to perform.  Something will always get in the way or come up unless you consciously make the time for you.  You are the most important person in your life. Act like it.

#2 Practice the Art of CANI

There is no greater commitment you can make to yourself than practicing the art of  "Constant And Never-ending Improvement," or CANI.  Live by the rule of 1%.  Identify all of the key areas in your life such as social, intellectual, physical, financial, spiritual, etc and commit yourself to doing something to improve that area by 1% every single day.  If you only improve by 1% everyday, your life will transform before you know it.

#3 Circle of Influence

Surround yourself with the right people, activities, and behaviors.  You are a reflection of the people, things, and activities you surround yourself with.  Do you surround yourself with people that stimulate you or drain you? Do you spend your time doing things that inspire you or suck your energy dry? Do you do activities that make you a better person or ones that are toxic for your life? There is nothing more powerful or equally as detrimental as choosing the right or wrong circle of influence.

#4 Play on the Edge

Take risks. Go big.  Nobody ever created lives of significance and deep meaning by always playing it safe.  A boat that stays in a harbor has no risk of being damaged, but that it not what a boat is designed for.  Ever hear of somebody having a great time sitting on a boat while it is at a dock? Neither have I.  Boats are designed to explore. They are designed for adventure.  So put up your sails and enjoy the ride.  As Hellen Keller once said, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."

Live. Love. Get a bit banged up. Learn. Grow. Contribute. And most of all, play big. There is no fun in playing small.  Only you can create meaning for your life.  Live your life fully and purposefully and you will never regret a day in your life. 

Love,

Matt

The Least Sexy Key to Success

Many of us who are on the path of spiritual growth and personal development are observant to the fact that we are not exactly where we would like to be.  Some of us take that thinking process to a new level and design our life and goals exactly like we would love to see it manifest.  Even fewer take it to the next step.  This next step is one the most overlooked, if not the most overlooked step to reaching our dreams.  It is that of an intense and unwaivering level of discipline.  It is easy to talk about where you would like to go and who you would like to become but so few are willing to create the discipline in their lives to actually make it happen. You must create discipline in your thoughts, words, and deeds and among all the layers of your life. If you truly want success in all domains of your life, you must create the discipline and mechanisms to demonstrate that.  Show me how you are in the weakest area of your life and you will show me your life.  

Many people are strong and disciplined in their financial life and attract mass amounts of wealth, yet they don't exercise or eat healthy.  Others are disciplined to workout and eat healthy but have no professional motivation and live paycheck to paycheck.  Others have a great social life but their spiritual life is in shambles, while others have an amazing spiritual life but no one to share it with.  You get the point.  Discipline is like a muscle.  When you exercise your discipline "muscle," you become stronger in all areas of your life.  Let me give you an example.  I love to eat and I love to eat healthy.  I eat super clean and healthy 90-95% of the time but I also choose to cheat every once in a while. The key word is choose.  I choose to cheat with my meals occasionally.  I am all right with that when I choose it.  What I can't live with is when I act out of impulse and I become a victim to my vices.  One of my vices is pizza.  Delicious, thin crust, New York style pizza.  It is one of my true food loves. Occasionally I choose to eat it, but usually I choose to not even surround myself with pizza because I know I will be tempted to eat it.  Sometimes, however, I go to a restaurant that has pizza to challenge myself and strengthen my discipline muscle.  I go there and choose a healthier option to prove to myself I am stronger than my vices.  It encourages me and builds up my self-confidence in all areas of my life because I take control and don't allow food to have power over me. Can you see how this level of discipline will benefit me in all areas of my life? 

I am totally committed to continuous and constant develop in all the domains of my life; spiritually, mentally, socially, physically, financially, and personally.  I am committed to creating the life of my dreams not only for myself, but as a commitment to be a role model and inspiration of what is possible to my community. While it is very important to celebrate our victories and successes in one area of our life, it can be equally as devastating on the other side of the coin to ignore our weaknesses and inadequacies in the weaker areas of our life.  Commit today to create an intense level of discipline in your life.  Commit today to never again allow your vices to rule your life.  Commit today to begin to be the person you would love to display for the entire to world to see.  When you bring that level of commitment and discipline to your life, you eliminate the addictions to your vices, and actually create the freedom to do and create the life of your dreams.  Think it. See it. Visualize it. And then go out and create it.  The world is yours for the taking.

Love,

Matt