What do you do when life gives you lemons?

Do you remember the age old axiom of life, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade?" Well, with all do respect, I completely disagree.  Lemonade is terrible for you.  It's full of sugar.  It takes an electrically charged, alkalizing superfood that is amazing for you, and turns it into a diabetes causing junk food! Does it taste better than a plain lemon? Sure, but it certainly is not good for you.  So where am I going with this? In our culture, we tend to associate things that feel bad as being bad for us.  We create a culture that is all about feeling good and avoiding pain.  We eliminate winning and losing from kids sports so nobody gets their feelings hurt, give our families medication at the first sign of sniffles or a sore throat to avoid any discomfort, take mind altering drugs, prescribed and self administered, to avoid the reality of our lives, and add sugar to lemon water.  My philosophy is when life gives you lemons, you have 2 choices and it is all or nothing: either drink the lemon water or throw the lemon away.  What I mean by this is that by just adding sugar to lemon water, you are taking an uncomfortable, yet great opportunity for growth, and making it toxic for you.  This does not serve you in the long run.  Does it temporarily make you feel good? Yes.  Will it provide the tools and resources for you to evolve into the you that you have always dreamed of? No. Actually, on the contrary, it is sabotaging your growth.  

As I see it, the only 2 options that allow you to be fully alive is to either eat the lemon and deal the with the short term discomfort allowing you for long term growth, or to choose not to eat the lemon. This  choice admits to your vulnerability. It demonstrates you are open and fully conscious yet not ready or willing to accept the terms of the current situation.  Either way is uncomfortable, yet either way is growth.  One choice tests your resolve and courage.  The another tests your humility and vulnerability.  Both are necessary if we want to full experience this journey called life.  

What are you going to do the next time life gives you lemons? 

These 2 habits will change your life

What are you doing every day to feed your passion; to center you; to refocus your attention and create a laser beam lock on your goals and dreams? As human beings, our natural state will tend to drive us toward comfort, stasis, and mediocrity.  It does not take work to live a life of mediocrity.  On the other hand, success, happiness, and fulfillment do not happen by chance or by accident.  They come from an intense work ethic and a constant and never-ending drive to grow and become a little better every single day. After years of voraciously reading and studying successful people and their habits, I have found two traits common in all of them: they become a master of their mornings and they are always looking for ways to grow.  They become almost like an addict to uncomfortable and scary situations because they know that is where they have the opportunity for the biggest growth.

I decided to make a commitment to knock both of those out in one shot.  You see, I never would have considered myself a morning person.  I am the type that liked to wake up as late as humanly possible, rush to get ready, and storm out of the house to arrive to work just in time.  It worked for me for a while.  I convinced myself that it was just the way I was, nothing would change that, and I would need to accept that about myself.  The truth is that I was never going to accept that about myself because I knew I could do better.  I wasn't satisfied because I was a victim to my vices.  For me, that was sleeping in late.  Of course I had control over it, but I was trying to convince myself I didn't so I would feel better about myself.  How many of you do that in some area of your life, whether it is telling yourself you have a sweet tooth you have no control over or exercise is just not your thing? I hated that I didn't have control over that area of my life.  I had this internal battle for a while until my coach, Stephen Franson, called me out and brought to my attention that my excuses were bullshit and I could change if I really wanted to.  That was exactly the push I needed.  I committed to waking up earlier and developing a set routine to master my morning so could become a master of my day.  Was this new commitment scary for me? Hell yea it was.  What if I failed at it? What if I couldn't actually pull myself out of bed? These may seem like small things to you but to me, not sticking to this plan represented failure in my eyes and I do not like to fail at anything.  Instead of using this fear to paralyze me into inaction, I chose to commit to this powerful step in my growth. Have I woken up late on occasion or hit the snooze button more than I would have liked to? Absolutely.  But everyday is a new day that I recommit to myself and I learn from my failed mornings to create successful mornings the next day.  And you know what? Each time I fail and I learn from it, I grow and become better at it the next time. Life is not about perfection.  It is about progress.  It is about taking small steps everyday to live your life better than the day before.  What are you afraid of? What challenge have you been putting off?  Take charge of it and it will change your life.  I guarantee it.

                        Love,
                        Matt

My "Hour of Power"  morning routine for your reference:

1) Read something spiritual/personal development to kick start my morning.
2) 10 minutes of silent meditation.
3) What am I grateful for?
4) What am I committed to for the day? In my life?
5) 30 minutes of yoga while listening to something professional/motivational/inspirational.

Reflections from 2012

As the year is coming to an end, I wanted to share with you my 25 best reflections and lessons learned from 2012. Here it goes:

 1. Give everything you have.  Then give more.  The fruit does not come from the end.  It comes from pushing through the end into the area of the unknown.

2. Forgive yourself and others.  Set down your bag of rocks and move forward.

3. People want your attention.  Give it to them.

4. Never give up on your dreams. 

5. Tell your loved ones you love them. Tell them a lot. Tell them often. And always with love.

6. Be grateful... For everything.

7. Look for opportunities to grow, even if it scares you... Especially if it scares you.

8. Tell the truth but speak with love.

9. Don't just look to be ordinary. Be unique. Be extraordinary.

10. Be humble. The truly confident and loving people shine with their sincerity, vulnerability, passion, and compassion, not the volume of their words and actions.

11. Meditate everyday and listen to your inner voice. You may not always like what it has to say, but sometimes that what holds the most valuable lessons. 

12. Read nonfiction. People spent thousands of hours mastering and boiling down a lifetime of
lessons into a couple hundred pages. Learn from them. 

13. Demonstrate discipline. Discipline in thoughts, words, and actions. Don't be a victim to your vices. Live consciously and choose wisely. 

14. Smile. You'll be happier and make others happier in the process. 

15. Become of service to others.  In a society built around technology,  people need your time, energy, and attention now more than ever. 

16. Show compassion for people.  Even the most hardened people need your compassion.  They are usually the ones who need it the most. 

17. Wear your heart on your sleeve. There is tremendous strength in vulnerability. 

18. Listen more than you speak. You don't know what you don't know and what you don't know usually turns out to be more powerful than what you already know. 

19. Build the people up around you. They will carry you further than you can take yourself alone. 

20. Dream big dreams and then get to work on making those dreams a reality. 

21. Surround yourself with people who are better than you. 

22. Write often. Even if nobody else gets to read it. 

23. You'll never regret kind words spoken to another person. 

24. Have patience. With yourself and others. 

25. Ask for help. It's builds stronger connections and opportunities to learn and grow.  

I hope you take these lessons, apply them to your life, and make 2013 the best year yet. 

Love,
Matt

Goal Setting 2013

It's really funny how life works sometimes.  Here's the story. I had a plan to work on my goals for 2013 and wanted someone to hold me accountable so I did something that I always wanted to do.  After a full morning in the office on Saturday, I flew from cozy Singapore to the chaotic city of Jakarta for one night to meet one of my best friends in order to set our goals, and ultimately, our life up for success in the coming year and beyond.  We rented a room in a 5 star hotel and intended to spend a few hours Saturday night and then Sunday morning designing the life we would love to live.  Then I would fly home Sunday evening.  Everything work out exactly as planned.  Actually it worked out better than planned.... Until it didn't. In a city known for its intense traffic jams that regularly last for hours upon hours, it was as if the the roads opened up just for me.  I hit virtually no traffic coming from the airport upon my arrive into the city as well as no traffic leaving to go back to the airport the following day.  I arrived and we had a spectacular dinner followed by a few very productive hours of goal setting.  Everything worked out so well, I even forgot my charger but the business center had an extra one I could borrow for free.  To top that off, I ran into one of the members of Guns and Roses in the elevator who I chatted with because he was in town to perform a concert and happened to be staying at the same hotel.  Very cool.  Then Sunday morning came and we had a great goal setting session followed by a breakfast made for kings followed by more goal setting. Soon after I made my way back to the airport without a hitch.  I leisurely walked around the airport and got on the plane with plenty of time to spare.  Everything was even going so well, the flight was designed to leave early.  Perfect. Now, remember I said everything worked out better than planned... Until it didn't? Here's where it didn't.  As I sit down on the plane and settle into my seat for a short flight back to Singapore, excited to arrive relatively early to settle in for an early night and prepare for a big day in the office tomorrow, we get an announcement.  There is something wrong with the air traffic control center, and we may be delayed for 20-30 minutes.  I am no flight expert but  it didn't sound like a 20-30 minute problem to me.  Well 30 minutes later, they get on the loud speaker and make another announcement, "The problem is worse than expected and there is no end in sight for the resolution.  Please be patient." This was a real test for me.  Actually it was more of an opportunity.  In my past, patience and looking for the positives in challenging situations was not one of my virtues.  I would have been annoyed and pissed off and would have just sat frustrated and negating the benefit of my entire weekend over in Jakarta.  I would have told myself I am never doing this again because something always goes wrong.  Except... What if I told myself a different story this time? What if instead of living in self pity that my fight was delayed and we could be sitting here for hours upon hours, I told myself a different story? How about instead of looking at myself jammed in a tiny window seat like a sardine with nothing to do, I told myself that I had my own private workstation free from cell phone interruptions and Internet distractions? How about instead of looking at this as a punishment, I looked at it as a gift to review my goals, read, and write? Well, that's exactly what I did! I literally started writing this blog during the delay with a smile on my face and not an ounce of frustration.  I was excited to have focused time, free from distraction to write and read.  I started this blog with the uncertainty of when we would take off and I was enjoying the solitude of being connected with my iPad notepad and my thoughts.  An hour and a half into the delay and halfway into the blog, they came on the loud speaker and made an announcement that we were clear for take off and we needed to turn off all our electronic devices.  Funny thing happened.  I was actually a bit disappointed I was being interrupted during my writing for take off!  Now I am 30,000 feet in the air, finishing my blog and sharing this experience with you.  And do you know what it all came down to? Perspective and presence.  My number one goal from this weekend is to live in the NOW; to bring an intentional presence to every moment in my life; to look for the gifts and opportunities in every situation.  This proved not to be a punishment, but instead provided me with 2 gifts - to practice my number one goal for the new year and share my experience with you in hopes that in some small way, this touches your life and inspires you to look for the gifts in every challenge and the opportunities in every set back.  Now get moving and set your goals for 2013.  

Who inspires you?

There are certain people in history that have always been a huge inspiration for me. There are certain individuals that I will never get a chance to meet in person, yet through their words and actions, will leave an indelible impact on my life. These individuals sit on my "intellectual board of trustees." These people give me strength when I think I have none. They inspire me in times of hardship and give me the strength to persevere in times of struggle. They open my heart to vulnerability and allow me to break down the walls of ego and judgment. They open my heart to love and teach me that we cannot love and judge at the same time. These individuals have been confronted with such significant criticism, judgment and hardship, yet continued to live with love in their heart. If you look any of these individual lives, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and Viktor Frankl, they faced extreme adversity yet stayed resolute in their values and convictions. Gandhi lived his whole life for service to equality of human rights and overall humanity through non-violent resistance. His life was about overcoming his own internal struggles and insecurities. Then you have Nelson Mandela who was jailed for 27 years in his struggle to create an end to apartheid. And lastly, there is Viktor Frankl who had to endure some of the harshest conditions known to mankind in the hell that were the Nazi concentration camps. He experienced the slaughter of his entire family and many of his friends, and not only survived, but used it as an opportunity to develop a philosophy and meaning of life surrounding the questions he asked about what made some of the prisoners die and others live who were going through the same experience. It inspired him to write a book called "Man's Search for Meaning," which I highly recommend reading. It was on his quest for answers that lead him to the conclusion that life is about meaning and when there is no meaning, there is no life. And who creates the meaning? You and me. There is no meaning in life except for the meaning that we place on it. He found that even in the most heinous and unconscionable situations, meaning can be created and value can be instilled - "Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.... For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment." It is not our experience in life that defines us. It is how we respond to our life's experiences that defines us. It is the value we create, not the value that is inherent, that creates meaning in our lives. We are co-creators. We may not always be able to create the situations of our lives, but we can always choose how we handle the situations we are confronted with. This goes for pleasurable as well as not so pleasurable experiences. I have found there to be 3 universal ways of "being" that allow me the opportunity to create meaning in every situation: vulnerability or authenticity, gratitude, and love. The power of vulnerability or authenticity is you are being 100% true to yourself and who you are. You are wearing your skin and emotions inside-out, on display for the world to see you in your purest form. There is tremendous strength in vulnerability. The strength is in the exposure of our weaknesses, because it is this very connection and openness of our weaknesses that destroys our ego and opens our heart for gratitude. Gratitude can only be given or received in its truest form when you are in a place of complete vulnerability where you are accepting and appreciating of what is exactly as it is. It is this connection with the infinite that opens our heart for love, and allows us to express our divine light and shine the way G-d intended. Marianne Williamson says it best, "Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.”

What is your song to the world?

As I sit down at one of my favorite cafes with a hot cup of green tea and open up my new book of the week, Killing Sacred Cows, I stumbled across a great quote by Henry David Thoreau that really got me thinking: "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." I sit here and watch hundreds of people walk by. Tall people and small people, young people and old people, rich people and poor people, mothers and fathers and single people, people in a rush and people walking slow, happy people and sad people, and I think to myself,  "How many of them know the song that is inside of themselves just asking to be sung to the world?"  I believe that our song, or stated a bit differently, our life's purpose, is a bit of nature and nurture; a bit of intrinsic talent combined with TLC; a bit of innate gifts combined with profuse sweat and an unwavering work ethic.  I do believe that everyone in us has a song to sing.  Here are the keys to finding out your song: #1: Spend some time alone every day to reflect and listen to the voice within. It's during times of peace and quiet that the noise within becomes louder than the noise from outside.  You may be met with intense discomfort during these times, but it important to still yourself and listen with your mind and your heart.  It is precisely this internal confusion and internal dialogue that will lead to clarity and certainty.  When I began to meditate, it was intensely challenging for me to sit still for even  10 minutes in perfect silence and internal contemplation.  Minutes felt like hours.  But the more I practiced, the easier it became and the more I looked forward to it.  I got out of it for a while and let other things take precedent over my meditation practice, but this is my declaration to recommit myself to sitting in silence everyday because I know how valuable it will be to me. As Rumi says, "Silence is the language of G-d. Everything else is only a translation." #2:  Read. Read voraciously.  Read every book on personal development, spirituality, finance, autobiographies, relationships, purpose, leadership, etc that you can get your hands on.  Fall in love with reading.  You can literally have conversations with the greatest minds that ever lived in the history of mankind without ever leaving your house.  You can read about the songs of the greatest minds that ever lived and find out what made them tick and what brought meaning and purpose to their lives.  I've invested thousands of dollars in books on all of the subjects I have mentioned, and it is the best investment I have ever made.  The return on my investment in books is incalculable.  It has fed me spiritually, physically, and emotionally.  Books have fed my mind, body, and soul.  Reading has changed my life.  As Confucious says, "You cannot open a book without learning something." #3:  Surround yourself with people who love you enough to call you out on your BS.  Our ego loves to be surrounded with people who constantly feed it and give it praise, but what is good for the ego, is not always what's best for the soul.  What the soul needs is to be around people who are going to lovingly challenge the ego and force you to confront your feelings of doubt, insecurity, and insensitivity as well as your feelings of overconfidence, carelessness, and laziness.  It is not during periods of comfort and praise that we grow.  It is during times of emotional, mental, and physical challenge that we grow.  What we need most are people that are going to provide us with a healthy dose of praise and challenge.  This allows us the certainty that we are safe while still providing us the avenues to challenge our minds, souls, and hearts to higher levels of consciousness.  As Sai Baba says, "Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it." #4 Write.  And write. And write. You should write as much as you read.  Writing gives you the opportunity to take all your wonderful, and not so wonderful thoughts and work on creating cohesive ideas out of all of the concepts and ideas jumbled up in your mind.  Writing well is a skill.  Like any other skill, it takes practice.  Lots of practice. It is through the practice of writing, however, that you create clarity out of the thoughts in your head.  It is where you take all of the wonderful information you have read and absorbed from your day to day activities and make it real for yourself and your life.  You see, when I write these blogs, it is as much for myself as it is for the people I write for.  For example, when I sat down just a few minutes ago to write this blog, I had no idea what I was going to write about.  I saw a quote in a book and it inspired me to write.  It is through the action of writing that I created much more clarity around the ideas I had circulating in my mind.  This has reminded me of the importance of meditating, reading, surrounding myself with the right people, and of course, writing! It doesn't matter whether you think you are a good writer or not.  As Nike says, "Just do it!" You don't have to show anyone what you write.  There is no one to judge you or your writing.  You don't need to write for anyone else except for you.  Grab a pen and a notebook and just start to write.  Your heart will thank you for it. So what are you waiting for? Don't wait for life to come to you.  You may be waiting forever.  If you want a better life, go out and take control.  Meet confrontation and challenge with an open heart and a loving mind.  And most of all... "Don't ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman.

Being healthy is simple!

All of our philosophical constructs must be followed by practical application in order to transform abstract ideas into massive value for our lives. It is when we create powerful action steps to back our philosophy that our lives really begin to take shape. If we truly want to live our best lives, we must remain congruent in our beliefs, thoughts, and actions. We must create an identity for ourselves and display that identity authentically in all areas of our lives. For example, my identity as a chiropractor is based on the premise that the body has an amazing power and intelligence inside of it that controls and regulates every cell, tissue, and organ of the body. It is that intelligence that attracts a sperm cell to an egg cell, creates a union, and divides and differentiates continuously until a 4 kg miracle of life is brought out to the world. It is an intelligence that is unmatched and unwavering in its commitment to keep us functioning at our highest level throughout our entire lifetimes. My belief is that we were not designed to live a life of poor health and suffering decline from the time we are 30 years old until death like many of us were brought up to believe. My belief is that we were designed to live our life like a candle. We were designed to shine bright for a lifetime. For example, imagine you buy a big beautiful candle that is guaranteed to burn for 7 days until it burns out. How does the candle burn on the 6th day compared to the 1st day? Is there any difference in the expression of that candle when 80% of its life is over? None! The candle shines bright throughout its entire life as long as it gets an essential requirement - oxygen. Maybe at the very end of its life, it will struggle, flicker a few times and then peacefully dissolve into the atmosphere, but that only occurs at the very end and not after half of its life is gone. As humans, we are designed to live an amazing, abundant, energy filled life until the very end where we may struggle to hang on to that very little bit of life left in us and then relatively quickly pass away , but not before we left our mark on the world through living a life of maximal expression. Sounds pretty great, right? So now that we have our philosophical construct, how do we make it happen? What action steps must we have in place to make this dream a reality? The answer to this is so simple that it eludes many of us. It is simple, yet not always so easy. The way to live this way is to live innately; to live a life from within; to live a life from above-down-inside-out; to live congruently to our genes and maximize our G-d given potential. As a chiropractor, my purpose to is free up that innate intelligence in the body to express itself at its full potential by detecting and correcting vertebral subluxations. It is primarily these subluxations that reduce the brightness and quality of your "flame." It is also through teaching people how to live an innately driven lifestyle which consists of moving our bodies consistently and rigorously on a regular basis, keeping a healthy mental attitude that is fed and challenged on a regular basis, and ingesting quality nutrients to nourish all of the cells of the body. Living an innate driven life is simple, although not at times all that easy. For example, you already know what foods to eat. Are there more nutrients in a bowl of blueberries or a bowl of rice? Are there more nutrients in a plate of strawberries and banana, or a bowl of cereal? Choosing what to eat is simple. If you can eat it directly from a tree or the ground, eat it. If it flies, swims, or runs, eat it occasionally. Other than that, don't touch it. Wait, so does that mean I should only be eating mostly fruits, vegetables, and nuts, and meat occasionally? That's exactly what I'm saying. We make health much more complicated than we really need to. Get back to the basics. Do you really think there is something more valuable in a bowl of Special K that we can't get in fruits and vegetables? Anything other than that is reducing our "flame." Quiet your mind and look within and I think you will find the answers to many of life's most important questions. Dream big, love often, live from within, and create a life of abundance where anything is possible. You deserve it.