Winning the Game of Life

I just started on a new book this afternoon, and although it is still too early to comment on the book in its entirety, I have found a simple yet profound quote that has already made the book worth its investment many times over.  The book is called Tell to Win and the quote is by adventure guru and founder of Sobek Expeditions, Richard Bangs.  He said, "I wanted them to understand I wasn't in the people transportation business, I was in the human transformation business."  Wow.  No wonder he built such an amazing and success company.  His adventure travel business was in the business of moving people, just not in the way we would traditionally define it.  He was in the business of moving people emotionally and physically in order to create transformation in people's lives.  What is the mission and purpose of your business? Or better yet, what is the purpose and mission of your life? Are you in the business of "just getting through life" or are you in the business of "transforming your life and the lives of everyone around you?"  The life transformation business is not for everyone.  It is not for the weak at heart.  It is not for people who are skittish about ruffling a few feathers, especially their own.  It isn't for everyone, however, it is available to anyone who wants it bad enough.  As I sit here and reflect of what my life's purpose is all about, I work on getting to the core to find out what moves me.  What gets my heart beating with excitement and what creates a wave of energy the reverberates through every cell in my body? It is the idea of transformation.  My old purpose was the constant pursuit of life mastery while creating an indelible impact on the lives around me.  That purpose served me for a while but it doesn't move me the way it once did.  My true purpose is to continually create transformational experiences in my life as well as have an indelible impact on the people around me by helping to create transformational experiences for them.  I realize now i am in the transformation business, for myself and for others.  Now this isn't about changing.  Changing sucks.  Change can be slow and painful and only result in minor alterations in your being.  Transformation on the other hand results in a complete evolution in your state of being.  It results in a fundamental shift in who you are at your core.  Many people have transformational experiences after major emotional events such as heart attacks and other near death experiences.  Many people allow life to happen to them rather than create the life they would love to live.  Many people live within the shackles of mediocrity instead of excelling at everything they do. I believe the life of your dreams comes from living your life by 3 major principles.  Number one, be present to your purpose.  Every thing you do should serve your purpose. Find the meaning in everything you do and you will find fulfillment at every corner.  Number 2, create compelling stories for your life.  Our life is one big story.  Our lives are defined by our story.  You are the author of your life, and your story has yet to be written.  The pen is in your hand and you can write anything you want.  You don't like what happened in your life? Create a whole new empowering story for what happened.  We can't always control what happens, but the pen allows us to create any meaning we want for what happened.  There is amazing power in the pen you hold in your hand.  Make every word count.  Make every word powerful and transformational. Number three, be open and allow wonderful things to pour into your life.  Live with a sense of deservedness.  We are all children of G-d.  Who are we not to expect wonderful and amazing and spectacular things to happen to us, for us, and for the people we love? You hold the pen and paper of your life in your hands.  What is your story going to be? 

This one thing can change your life...

Humans fascinate me.  But more specifically human behavior fascinates me.  It is that fascination that has lead me on a life long journey of deep internal reflection, dialogue, and transformation.  I figure if I can gain a deeper and more profound understand of my own thoughts, words, and behaviors, I can not only create the life of my dreams but I can become more effective and influential in helping others create the life of their dreams.  It is on this journey I have found one of the greatest gifts.  It has also been one of the greatest challenges I have had to face, but doesn't it work out that our greatest challenges usually are the very things that become our greatest gifts? It's not easy to always see and appreciate it at the time however.  This gift I speak of is vulnerability.  I know your head may be spinning right now as mine did when I was first confronted with the concept of vulnerability.  Especially when vulnerability was described as a strength.  That was news to me!!  I grew up with notion that perfection was a sign of strength.  That I needed to protect and guard my image at all costs.  The greatest sign of strength was being the best - at everything.  So I was led down the path in pursuit of straight As, captain of the baseball team, work out phenom, leadership guru, intellectual genius, and the list goes on and on.  I thought if I could achieve all of these things, or more specifically, if I could at least get people to perceive me as a pillar of perfection in all of these areas, it would be a sign of strength and power and influence.  The challenge with that is I wasn't perfect and never will be.  No one is.  We all have fears, demons, skeletons in our closet, inadequacies, and insecurities.  We have fears of failure, fears of success, fears of never finding love, fears of not being good enough, and fears of not belonging.  Some may experience each of these to lesser or greater degrees depending on the individual, but we all have our internal and external challenges.  The more we can come to terms with our own mortality, the more we can be open about our fears and challenges, the more we can express and come to terms with what scares us, the more we can shed this coat of protection that blocks us from the transformations we crave deep in our souls to create the lives we were meant to live.  And the more we can shed these layers of protection we so carefully have built up over the years, the more we can release the light that resides inside each and every one of us.  This is possible for everyone of us, but it does not come without a price.  That price is hard word, deep internal reflection, and times of severe emotional discomfort.  It is a challenge and a calling very few people will undertake because of the enormity of the process but the rewards are there for the taking if you are willing to venture out from protection of your cocoon into the world of vulnerability.  Being vulnerable is about being truly honest with  yourself about your weaknesses and your strengths.  It is about creating a complete connection and transparency with your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.  It is about seeing yourself for what you are and not what you wished or hoped that you were. It is about shedding the facade and displaying your naked self to the world and as Brene Browne, PhD would say, "Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am brave and worthy of love and belonging."  Now go out there and be imperfect. Be vulnerable.  And let your true self shine because in the famous words of Howard Thurman, "Don't ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.  Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive."

"Life is Difficult"

The thing I love about books is it gives me the rare opportunity to have challenging and deeply reflective philosophical conversations with some of the brightest minds that ever lived. The one I am currently reading is called "The Road Less Traveled." The first sentence of the first page is simple, yet profound. "Life is difficult." Wow. Not too encouraging at first glance. One may ask, what would compel you to read a book that began with a sentence of that magnitude? Why not just read a book called Life is Easy or 10 Easy Steps to Positive Thinking Your Way to a Wonderful Life? We all know there are plenty of those out there! I'll tell you why. I was compelled to read this book because there was something inside of me, at the core of my being, that tells me life is more than peaches and cream or butterflies and sunflowers. Something was telling me that there was an incongruency between what I innately knew to be true and some of the fluff I have read in other books. Don't get me wrong. I believe positive affirmations, goals, and positive thinking is very valuable and definitely has its place but it is only part of the big picture. The author talks about the second law of thermodynamics and it's application to psychology. The second law of thermodynamics talks about how over time organized states will tend toward disorder unless an outside force is applied. Human beings are no exception to that law. Human beings will tend toward the path of least resistance, mentally and physically, unless we make conscious choices to the contrary. Life takes work. It takes a commitment to constant and never ending improvement. It is a constant battle between succumbing to the laziness that is at our core and the drive toward excellence the dually sits at our core. Without conscious thought and work, laziness will prevail and our lives slowly fall to greater levels of disorder and chaos. However, contrarily, with daily, no, second to second and moment to moment observation of our thoughts and actions, we can slowly turn this massive undertaking into an achievable outcome of love, peace, and gratitude. Does it take work? An extraordinary amount of work and persistence. Is it worth it? It's a challenging and deeply personal question that only you can answer for yourself. After all, life is difficult.

When you are forced to say good-bye...

There is a uniqueness in a child's love for his grandparents. I had to say good-bye for the last time to an amazing woman last week - my grandmother. She was a woman who exemplified what it is to be a loving mother, wife, and grandmother. She always gave with an open heart and lived with a special zest for life I have seen very rarely in my life. She was funny and charismatic and possessed an amazing strength and determination. She was always a huge source of inspiration for me and a rock of support I could always count on. She was my biggest fan and loved without judgment. Her biggest desire was for me to be happy. What do you do when you are forced to say good-bye? What do you do when someone is taken from you at a time when need them the most? What do you do with the words that were left unsaid or certain actions were left undone? These are some of the questions I was left asking myself as I reflected on the passing of my grandma and these are the conclusions I came to: Open up your heart and love often. Judge less and praise more. Don't live in regret of the past or fear of the future because it takes away from the only time that exists - the present. Write thank you cards often and show appreciation for the people in your life. Say "I love you" more. Smile and laugh freely. Help someone in need - it's something you will never regret. Open more doors for people - literally and figuratively. Don't hold back on life. Find your purpose and live it everyday. Be grateful - for everything. Tears are the river of your soul - let them flow. Bask in the little things in life - they are usually what lead to the bigger things. Live more like a child - free. Move more everyday - you owe it to yourself and for those who can't move. Do something nice for a child. Listen to the well-lived (elderly) - they possess lots of wisdom. Wear your heart on your sleeve - it may get broken but it is the only way for it to get captured. Be more vulnerable - it is a sign of true strength. Love yourself more - there is no one else like you. Take more leaps - who knows? You just may fly. If you aren't passionate about your work - change it. Stay focused but take breaks to look around more - there is beauty all around you. Take time to daydream - the best ones may become your future reality. My grandma may have passed but her spirit will live on in my heart forever. I love you grandma.