Adventures in Paradise

There is an interesting paradox about life whereas the quieter the outside becomes, the louder the inside becomes.  After finishing an amazing 3 days in the office serving hundreds of people, seeing more lives transform than I can possibly count and doing 2 talks in the office on chiropractic, innate intelligence, and living a life of full expression, I find myself sitting on the beach on the beautiful island of Tioman, Malaysia. I'm looking out at the turquoise water under the clear blue skies with the jungle behind me and a great cup of coffee in hand. Life is great, if it wasn't for the pesky voice in the back of my head.  You see, anyone that knows me knows I have one speed and that is full throttle.  A huge step in the personal growth process has been learning to relax and enjoy the moment; to realize that not doing anything is sometimes the best thing I can do for myself.  When I first arrived at the resort, my first thought was "What should I do now? I should go for a swim, grab lunch, do a bit of reading, go out for a snorkel, work out, and then and then and then."  Why? Because my belief system has always been that doing nothing is a waste of time; that doing nothing is for lazy people; that doing nothing is unproductive and a poor use of time. Also, and probably the most unsettling feeling, is that doing nothing means I need to start to listen to the little voice inside of me. So when I got here and realized there really is not much to do, there are very few people around, and the only internet is in one section of the resort, I got a little freaked out. Thank goodness that moment of craziness only lasted for a few minutes because now instead of driving myself crazy with keeping busy, I can begin to do the real work and just be present and hang out with myself.  I can begin to go through the process of enjoying the solitude, meditation, nothingness, and giving up the expectation that I need to expect anything at all for a couple of days. Sometimes the most beautiful plan is that of having no plan.  That can be a pretty powerful plan in and of itself.

We can all learn a lot from the practice of solitude.  We can learn a lot from the practice of nothingness.  It is in the space of nothingness that everything exists.  It is in that deep place of nothingness and presence that creation exists.  It is in the deep place of nothingness that we are able to connect with ourselves and everyone around us.  I know this may seem very abstract and esoteric but I promise you there is nothing more concrete and directly applicable to our lives than this idea of nothingness.  Let me give you an example. Let's say you're looking at creating a relationship with someone. It can be anyone; a lover, friend, co-worker, or employee.  Each party enters with a "full glass." Each party has a set of expectations, wants, desires, and needs.  The biggest thing that can destroy any relationship is unmet expectations and the poor communication that usually goes along with that.  As we empty our glass and shed layers and layers of baggage and expectations, we open ourselves up to a greater possibility of connection.  What do you think is easier - meeting 17 expectations that are ingrained in a person's being, most of which they have no idea about or not having to meet any expectations and starting with an "empty glass" to create anything you want? What is going to set you up for a successful trip more - having the expectation that in order to be happy there has to be perfect weather, perfect food, perfect accommodations, and everything run perfectly on time or entering the trip with no expectations except that no matter what happens, you are going to make the best of it? If it rains, great. More time to read and write.  If it's sunny, great. More time to swim and enjoy the sun.

When we can begin to shed our expectations; when we can begin to drop our baggage from the past; when we can begin to empty our bucket of crap, we open ourselves up to a world of creation and manifestation.  We begin to create the feelings we want and not the feelings we are victim to.  We open ourselves up to finding the joy in the chaos as well as the calmness.  Time for me to go empty my cup, enjoy the calmness, and get off my computer so I can embrace the beauty all around me.

Love,

Matt

Journey back in time...

Hiking in Landmannalaugar, Iceland

Life is a lot like hiking a mountain range.  There are going to be peaks and there are going to be valleys.  I remember my first real hiking trip every.  It was also my first real trip overseas.  It was 6 years ago when I took a journey for two weeks to the “Land of Fire and Ice” – Iceland.  Iceland is a majestic country unlike anything I have ever seen before filled with enormous glaciers, beautiful waterfalls, and a unique landscape mixed with black volcanic lava fields, hot springs, glaciers, breath-taking waterfalls, green grass, rainbows, and gorgeous mountains.  My best friend, Matt and I, decided to do a 4-day trek which is listed as one of the top 3 treks in the world.  It was an approximately 60 km hike over varied terrain and altitude.  One day we were hiking over beautiful green landscape, rocks, and mountains.  The next day it was across the flat black sand desert.  The next day we were hiking on the glacier across snow and rocks.  The last day was a mix of canyons consisting of every color of the rainbow built into the walls, turquoise sulfur springs, towering black volcanic rocks jutting out of the ground, and we finished off the 4-day adventure relaxing in a natural hot spring. 

The days were a mix of emotions.  I started off the hike with spirits high and energized for the adventure.  After the first day, both of my hips locked up on me and I spent the whole next day practically waddling about 12-14 km.  It was a really tough day for me.  I was exhausted, especially seeing the expanse of the landscape we had to cover in front of us and the height of the climbs we had to make with a 40 lb back pack on our backs.  There were times I was frustrated I ever decided to do the hike and really wanted to stop (although that was not possible because there was no where to go).  There were times where my legs were screaming, my heart was pounding, and I just wanted to collapse, but I knew it was not an option so I kept moving.  Doesn’t this kind of remind you of life so far?  Then the climate would change for the better. We would get to a peak and have coffee and a snack over-looking one of the most beautiful and pristine landscapes in the world.  I would sit there basking in gratitude for this amazing, life-changing experience.  I met some of the most incredible people, including a guy we affectionately nicknamed “Super Dad,” who was a university professor taking his wife and 3 kids on this trip with him.  He carried all the supplies for everyone, was a PhD, pulled his mattress from the mountain hut we stayed in outside in the freezing cold under the stars, spent time surfing and kayaking the frigid waters of Scandinavia, among a plethora of other accolades that are too many to name.  We would spend one day bored hiking across the flat desert sand, but then spend the night in a hut amongst the snow capped mountains.  We would spend the entire time living off oatmeal and dehydrated vegetables and quinoa, and then were beyond grateful when a gentleman offered us a tomato and cheese sandwich at the end of our journey.  It was nothing special but by comparison it felt like a meal at a Michelin-star restaurant.  My friend, Matt, still talks about that sandwich to this day.  We also capped off a brutal 4-day trek relaxing for hours in a crystal clear natural hot spring that was so beautiful I couldn’t even dream something like that up.

The thing about life is that it is not really life if you are only hanging out in the valleys or balancing on the peaks. It would have been impossible to appreciate a tomato and cheese sandwich the way we did without living on oatmeal (which I still won’t eat to this day) and dehydrated food for 4 days.  The views from the snow-capped mountains and of the multicolored canyons would not have been as mesmerizing if we just saw them in a picture and did not labor through the hours of hiking to reach those places.  The hot spring at the end of the journey would not have seemed so sweet if I could just access it from my backyard.  In life, we need both the peaks and the valleys.  The valleys are great because that is where our character, emotions, values, and beliefs are tested and it is also where the most growth takes place.  The peaks show us how our hard work has paid off. 

We cannot deny or escape the fact that life is going to be a journey of peaks and valleys.  We are going to have trials and tribulations and we are going to have victories. We are going to be tested physically and emotionally and we are going to experience periods of intense joy.  A true sign of growth and evolution of the soul is to be able to navigate the peaks and valleys with gratitude, grace, peace, and love.  It is to be able to detach from the outcomes and the location of the journey and live in the moment.  It is to be able to clear your heart from hate and the mind from anxiety and from a place of centeredness ask, “Where is the joy in this moment?  Where is the gift?” It is when we can be as grateful for the valleys as the peaks; when we can be patiently peaceful in the valleys and patiently joyful at the peaks that we begin to become a true master of our life.  It is something that may take years to master.  I know that I am only at the beginning of this process and you may be too, but we all need to start somewhere.  What better place than here, and what better place than now? 

Love,

Matt

This one thing can change your life...

Me in Bali

The more and more that I study successful people, read books on success and personal development, and become an observant observer of my own habits and behaviors, the more I realize there are certain things that are unequivocally and uncompromisingly essential to living a brilliant life.  Is motivation important? Yes. Is discipline important? Absolutely. Is compassion, empathy, and communication important? Without a doubt they are.  Although all of these are important, none of these are made possible without the lynchpin that holds every piece together.  There is one thing that makes all of these possible and so much more.  I cannot overstate the importance of this trait.  I cannot drill enough the capacity of this skill to transform your life.  Without further ado, allow me to share this life-building, life-changing, and life-magnifying trait you. It is STATE MANAGEMENT.  The good old ability to manage your state at all times, in all situations, and in all circumstances can do more for your life than anything else you can master. It is also probably the single most difficult thing to master as well.  But as we talked about before, the truly magnificent things in life are not easy.  If the magnificent things in life were easy, everybody would be living magnificent lives but we know these kind of lives are far and few between. Why? Because they take work! And work is a dirty little word to most people but I’m digressing. We will leave that for an article on another day.

So what is state management?  State management is the ability to control, create, and express any emotion and any decision through volitional consciousness in any situation or circumstance. Huh? Let me break it down for you.  It is the power of choice.  It is the power to have full control over your life no matter what is going on.  It is the ability to choose love amidst the hate that is all around; to choose hope in times of challenge; to choose compassion when someone is verbally attacking us; to choose discipline in times of distraction; to choose inspiration when we are feeling weak and tired; to choose to serve in times of personal struggle; to see the gifts in life when everything seems to be against us; to choose to be powerful when we are feeling beat down; to choose patience in times of inner turmoil; to choose faith in times of adversity; and to choose loving words, thoughts, and deeds when it is so easy to go the other direction.

Unfortunately, many people are ruled by their emotions.  They are reactive rather than proactive.  They allow the emotion of the moment to dictate their next move rather than taking control of their life.  They have a Pavlovian conditioned response to any stimulus that enters their sphere.  Just like the dog that salivates when they hear the bell ring, most people react to what goes on around them rather than being in control of their lives.  A driver cuts you off? The road rage kicks in.  A spouse or partner pushes your button? You react, and most likely not from a loving place.  A rough day at work? You’re miserable and take it out on everyone around you. A boss or client yells at you? You get depressed, angry, or sad. Financial challenges, relationship issues, or overwhelmed with work? You get annoyed, obsessive, or feel helpless or paralyzed.  You see that slice of pizza or French fries? You have to have it.  Did you exercise today? Nope, just did not have the motivation. Have you started that new project or goal you have been meaning to get to? Not yet because you got caught up with television.  Did you open that book you know you need to read? Not enough time in the day and you are too tired.  You see, this list could go on forever!  Many of us are totally run by our emotions in all areas of our life.  We have very little ability to effectively manage our state.  I can’t begin to speak as though I have perfected this yet. I wish I did! The truth is that creating the ability to master my state has been something I have been working on for years and has proved to be a huge challenge. And yes, it has improved dramatically but I still have a long way to go before I would consider myself a guru in this area.

I have discovered firsthand how improving this area of my life has transformed myself as a person, a leader, a boss, a friend, a son, and my relationship with myself. It is something I know I will be committing the rest of my life to mastering and I still will only put a dent in the realm of what is possible in this area.  The beautiful thing is even a small dent is analogous to dropping a pebble in the middle of a still pond where small changes create a ripple effect that shakes the very foundation of who you are as a person and the people around you. It will transform you as a person and create a level of control in your life that so few people possess.  It will be exactly what you need to literally manifest the life you have always wanted.  I know of nothing more powerful and transformational in the world of personal development than this.  I hope you enjoy the ride.

Love,

Matt